Thirtyhood.com

The Trifecta

2011-05-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

When you are in thirties aka "Thirtyhood" you struggle to maintain "The Trifecta". The Trifecta is a triangle and each of the three sides are issues you are concerned about and strive daily to preserve. If any side of the triangle is out of balance then the entire "Trifecta" is out of balance. Your issues may be slightly different but I will bet they resemble the three below:

"The Trifecta"

Side 1: Relationship/Marriage

Side 2: Homestead/Income

Side 3: Health

In project management, the key elements are cost, schedule and scope. If you increase/decrease one of these elements it will have an inevitable effect on the other two. The same applies for "The Trifecta". Everything I do, everyday, is aimed at maintaining at least one side of "The Trifecta".

In the middle of the triangle is my commitment to God. Knowing that everything I do is in testament to God is a blessing and a motivator to get up the next morning.

I get up and do my exercises to preserve health. I spend time with my wife and pray to preserve our marriage. I go to work to help ensure we have a place to live and food to eat.

What is on each side of your "Trifecta"? What is in the middle? How do your daily tasks contribute to each side?

Food for thought.

~DB

10 Erotic: Book 2

2011-05-01T19:14:00.000-05:00

It was only a matter of time. Yes, I am beginning my brainstorming for my second book 10 Erotic: Book 2. Why? Why now? Well, you can learn a little bit more over at 10erotic.com however in short I enjoy writing, I enjoyed producing the first book and it is the first endeavor where I profited from doing something I actually enjoyed So there you have it.

Keep up with me over at the newly redesigned 10erotic.com if you are up to it.

~DB

Marriage is like....

2011-02-13T22:06:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am recently married. But we will come back to that...

Last evening after my wife cooked another wonderful dinner for the both of us and as we both retreated to the master bathroom to brush, floss and start our nightly routine I began to wonder how I could best describe marriage. Here goes...

Marriage is like a grandiose ballroom dance with you and your lover dancing in front of thousands of people. All eyes are on you and fans and photographers line the dance floor waiting for you and your lover to begin dancing. You have groomed yourself for years learning how to tango, foxtrot, gallop, do the stanky leg, dip it low etc. preparing to dance a lifetime with your partner. You and your lover lock eyes, waiting for the music begin so you can trot out on the dance floor and both strut your stuff. However seconds before you start to dance someone taps you on the shoulder and informs you that the DJ has lost your music CD and instead will play a multitude of different songs. Songs you and your partner have never heard or practiced to. You look at your lover, on comes the music and wide eyed you both step out onto the dance floor to grand applause.

As you dance you realize you have a partner that you love to dance with, continues to hold your hand firmly as you both boldly navigate each song and maintains her beaming smile even through songs neither of you have heard before. The key is to keep dancing. Never stop.

So to my love, my wife, my flesh, I say, let's keep dancing baby.

Oh yes, I am married and now reside in North Dallas.

God Bless!

DB

Living your own life

2010-12-27T11:59:00.000-06:00

There comes a time in your thirties where you realize that nobody is going to live your life for you. There comes a time when it no longer matters what your family for friends think, it is about you and whatever you decide to do. You will need to utilize all those 30 years of living to make the best decision(s) that are right for you.

There comes a time in your thirties where you realize your immediate family has their own issues, your close friends are all "doing their thing" and you are left to simply live your life. Depressing? No, on the contrary. It is an opportunity for you to take the lead in life and build your own kingdom. That kingdom may consist of a significant other, a different job, lifestyle, kids, a home, traveling, being happily single etc. Whatever it is, you decide that this is your life, this is how you will live it, you will answer to no man and you will live with it's outcome.

Know this, whatever you decide will not be easy. If you decide to walk down easy street prepare to be disappointed.

I was watching A&E's show "Intervention" and the subject was an African-American female alcoholic with a troubled past and marriage. When asked about previous bouts of abuse by her ex-husband she replied in essence "I do not want to talk about that. It was not a good time but I would rather have a life, have loved and gone through the tribulations of life than have not to. What kind of life is without challenges and strife?" I do not condone abuse etc. however through all her murkiness she had a point.

So go ahead, live your life. Make your decisions and step into them bravely, without trepidation and walk with God's guidance and in his favor. Do it before you hit forty.

Dallas

Eliminate the Mortgage interest tax deduction? Outrageous!

2010-12-02T08:23:00.002-06:00

This morning I read a story entitled "Mortgage tax break in crosshairs" on CNN.com and instantly became enraged. Now I realize the hole both our past and current administration has dug is in.

What upsets me most is the middle class is the one being penalized. In short, there is a proposal to replace the mortgage interest tax deduction with a 12% flat tax credit for everyone. This means if you are a homeowner you would no longer be able to itemize and deduct your mortgage interest. Instead everybody would just get a flat tax credit.

Hogwash.

According to the Urban Institute, Tax Policy Center and What Works Collaborative, researchers have found that the deduction does not promote homeownership.

More Hogwash.

This plan would erode the amount of citizens considering homeownership and encourage them to avoid their American dream and simply rent instead. What the government fails to realize is us homeowners actually spend the tax credit and pour it back into the U.S. economy.

I am fed up. Frankly, I am tired of my tax money being sent to the unemployed every week while the employed sludge through work. I am tired of being penalized for being a productive citizen, getting an education and pursuing my dream. It is now quite clear that this administration has not helped to bury the hole created by the previous administration but rather has dug us deeper.

The poorer are just as poor, the middle class are getting poorer, the upper middle class is going away and the rich are simply spending their money in private.

At this pace, in 2012 the presidential election will not be a race for the Democrats to win but rather for the Republicans to lose. Assuming the Republicans do not slip on a banana peel and select Sarah Palin as their candidate, don't expect any basketball games in the White House in 2012.

If you are a realtor and want to sound off against this issue, do so via the National Association of Realtors.

Black Love vs. White Love: Is there a difference?

2010-11-29T13:59:00.000-06:00

I have been meaning to post this however I have been "slow to the draw" partially because I have been busy and partially because I figured it might incite a small brush fire. Below are a few observations leading to what I regard a valid question.

I was sitting on the plane back from Dallas, TX yesterday and I noticed the couple next two me were young and had shiny, new, matching wedding bands. Being nosy, out of the corner of my eye I read a text message the young guy received and it said "Congrats on the wedding!". As I peered at them out of my right eye they seemed more like best friends than newlyweds. However, they seemed generally happy. They looked like they were in their mid to late twenties and on their way to old age....together.

As I faced forward I considered the fact that very few of my professional, educated, middle-aged African-American friends are married or in long term serious relationships with members of the opposite sex and same race. As I sat on twitter this week I read all the random tweets from young, single black men and women with messages complaining about the opposite sex, making lewd sexual innuendos and/or making statements about what the opposite sex either doesn't do anymore or must do.

I need older, more mature twitter followers with sense you say?

Well, I read tweets from single, middle-aged, "independent", professional black women from around the world who I would consider to have some "sense". Either they tweeted about their business, re-tweeted events or offered short commentary of a new episode of a popular sitcom. I know this is a large amount of insight based on tweets but many of these women sounded lonely and seem to have either given up on a healthy relationship within their race or expect to continue to raise their child out of wedlock on their own. Those who were engaged in relationships didn't discuss them much. Generalization, I know.

I have discovered some great blogs and websites such as Black and Married with Kids and after reading the issues and blog posts along with considering what we often talk about as a community I must ask: Why is love so hard for African-Americans? Why do we struggle with something so basic? Why are those who are in a loving, God fearing, generally healthy relationship suddenly role models because they simply do what they are suppose to do?

Don't pull out those statistics from CNN about the number of black men who are incarcerated, uneducated or infected with HIV. Let's focus on the pool of eligible, single, professional African-American men. I believe there are more out there than many expect.

Look at your workplace and count the number of white, indian and asian married couples. Despite the fact whether you think they are happy or not, count them. Now, count the number of married African-Americans in your workplace. You know what you will find? Either your count of married African-American married couples is low or you have no idea if they are married but you figure they have kids.

Isn't something wrong with this picture? What is the difference between black and white love? There must be a difference if so few of us are in committed, long term relationships with the opposite sex of our own race compared to those of other races. Are we simply a victim of circumstance?

My observations are skewed you say? Let me know how and why.

Dallas Black
twitter: dallasblack

You are your parents...physically at least.

2010-11-17T08:35:00.000-06:00

I was in a dressing room at Marshall's trying on some jeans when I turned around to look in the mirror and saw my Dad staring back at me. The scary part was I am 32 and my Dad is 60 but our body types were undeniably the same. Between our chests, waists and legs I look like a slightly shorter version of him.

It depressed me.

Maybe because I had fought so many years to have a different body type but I suppose you can't fight genetics.

So, hello thirties and damn you thirties. But I am now much more comfortable in my skin, no matter how tall, short, skinny or wide it may be. I will embrace it and move on. In your thirties you have other things to worry about.

DB

Drama for yo Mama

2010-11-02T14:10:00.000-05:00

During your thirties aka "Thirtyhood" you eventually reach a point where you realize you know more about some subjects than your parents. I mean, let's face it, times are different. We were raised using technology and learned quickly how to navigate the new economy. Our parents did not and whether they admit it or not they need our help to guide them sometimes. However many parents (especially mother's) still believe that mother is always right and refuse to take direction. In reality, they are not always right.....right?

For me personally it seems that no matter what I tell my mother she ultimately thinks she is right. I can argue that the sky is blue which is scientifically proven aside from seeing it with your own eyes and she will accept my opinion but in her last breath remind me it is red.

Do mother's ever realize they may be or have been wrong in the past about anything? Why do mother's claim they are right even though you have demonstrated they are not? Is this an inherent trait of motherhood? Is this just a case of stubbornness with age? Even in the rare situation where they realize they made a mistake or chose a path less ideal there is still a hesitation in their voice to admit their offspring was right.

The bigger question is: Do you let your mother continue to think she is right even though she is headed towards hardship or do you jump in the car and take over the wheel? If you choose the latter you risk being thrown out of the car, forever.

Do you read your horoscope?

2010-10-12T21:45:00.001-05:00

I do not know if you believe in or read horoscopes however lately my horoscope has been...spot on.

If you have never read your sign profile it is worth a quick look. Of course they are generalizations however many times they do make you reflect upon your personality.

I have an application on my phone that allows me to wake up, open one eye and read my horoscope. In addition to a daily horoscope the application offers a "Lovescope". I too thought this was over the top however being "Curious George" I read my "Lovescope" and was amazed at it's accuracy.

Do you believe in horoscopes? Do you believe in certain signs being more compatible than others?

FYI: Yes you guessed it, I am a bull headed, stubborn Taurus.

"You are not alone" by Mavis Staples

2010-10-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

I was leaving Starbucks tonight and walked away with a free card for a free download from iTunes. The free song was "You are not alone" by Mavis Staples. After downloading it, listening to it and tracking down the lyrics I felt compelled to post them. Somebody out there needs to hear this right about now. Somebody in particular.

"You are not alone,
I'm with you
I'm lonely too
What's that song,
That can't be sung by two.
A broken home,
A broken heart,
Isolated and afraid,
Open up this is a raid,
I wanna get it through to you,
You're not alone.
You're not alone,
Every night,
I stand in your place.
Every tear,
On every face,
Tastes the same.
A broken dream,
A broken heart,
Isolated and afraid,
Open up this is a raid,
I'm gonna get it through to you,
You're not alone.
An open hand,
An open heart,
There's no need to be afraid,
Open up this is a raid,
I wanna get it through to you,
You're not alone.
I wanna get it through to you,
You're not alone.
I'm gonna get it through to you,
You're not alone."

You can listen to the song on YouTube here.

DB

My Blog Talk Radio Interview - 10 Erotic: Book 1

2010-09-22T15:29:00.001-05:00

In case you didn't know, I wrote a book of erotic short stories and poems.

Yes, I can be a little "freaky deeky".

I was invited to be interviewed on Love Talk radio this week and talk about my book, a bit about myself and my inspiration. In case you are bored and are up to hearing more about my book and listening to my Southern drawl click on the link below:

Love Talk Radio: Interview with Author Dallas Black on his book 10 Erotic: Book 1

Interested in buying my book? Mosey on over to http://www.10erotic.com

Otherwise, move along.

I am in a relationship....

2010-09-20T13:50:00.003-05:00

Keep your congratulations and spend that smile on a homeless person instead of me. I am telling you that I am in a relationship not to get your congrats and happy vibes. I am telling you because I want to reinforce to you the power of prayer and share some real relationship tidbits with you

Prayer is powerful
It is simple, assuming you have accepted Him into your life you simply ask him for what you want. He will do the rest.

No, I don't want to tell you about her, her name, what she likes or where she is from.
In your thirties you realize things that are important to you, you keep close to your heart. If you expose a seed to all the elements such as wind, too much sun and rain then it will not yield anything. If you provide a nurturing, guarded environment with moist soil, sunlight when needed and care to it tenderly then it may bud into something wonderful.

In theory, you can have a relationship and build a life with anyone.
I do not believe there is just one person for everyone. I do believe however that there is a person made for you. Same thing? Not quite. Trust that the right person, at the right time, in the right place, with the same morals, vision and outlook on life as you will show up one day. The biggest question is not will you ever find that person, the question is will you be blessed to recognize that person. That person may be looking at you in the face today or possibly has not crossed your path yet. It is up to you to figure it out.

At some point you realize there are indeed other women as interesting, gorgeous, and intelligent women as the one you are with, however none of those other ones were made or meant for you.
You are within your right to past up a 92% and seek a 99%. Just remember, that you are not guaranteed tomorrow and a bird in the hand is worth 5 million in the bush. You must realize that bird was put in your hand for a reason. At some point you realize the beauty of what you have and more importantly like a puzzle piece; she was made for you.

You are no Denzel yourself.
Go find a picture of yourself in college and look at it. Now go look in the mirror. Now look at the picture again. You are not that same dude. Physically you are not that same dude, mentally you are not as sharp and today you value different things. Embrace your new value system and move forward with it. It is no longer about clubs, cars or cash. It is about building something. Something much bigger than you.

There is no such thing as love at first sight. It is called "lust" at first sight.
Yea, I said it. Trust me, if you see a broad across the room and you feel butterflies then you are probably a bit tipsy and you simply want to fuck. Admit it. Now you may get lucky and find out she is more than a great lay and happens to be a candidate for wifey. However, temper your expectations. Get to know her first. When meeting a person for the first time you are drunk with emotion. The key is after you sober up do you still want to be with her?

It is not that big of a fucking deal.
Sometimes us men (and women) make a big deal of dating, relationships, sex, marriage etc. As a Taurus, I know I can over analyze a situation. You get to a point in your life where you have to consider Life 2.0. Some of us reach this stage earlier or later than others. Some of us reach that stage and decide not to move forward with Life 2.0 but rather decide to continue with Life 1.0. This is completely your decision. In Life 2.0 you develop your own ecosystem with your partner, you create a home, you develop your routine, rules and move toward achieving the dream you both want. In Life 1.1 you acknowledge you value your own space, time and freedom more than cleaving with a partner. Pick one and keep it moving.

Love and relationships are not perfect, the key is to be with someone who commits to resolving issues within the relationship.
If you feel you can resolve any issue with your mate within the relationship and that it is no longer a question of "can we stay together" then you are ready for the next step. Everything else is just noise.

You know she is the one when you realize you are the one that needs to change.
When dating, many of us men find things wrong with our mate early in the relationship and either focus on them or try to change them. I am convinced that your mate, the one who is made for you, will make you change. You will do whatever is necessary to make space in your life for that person. One day you will wake up and learn that the corny line "You make me want to be a better man" from Jack Nicholas in "As Good As It Gets" actually makes sense.

If you can't talk, it won't work.
If you can't laugh and talk to your mate then it won't work. I know that sounds obvious but if that person bores you or if you are bored of them then write it off and keep it moving.

Will it be perfect? No. Will it be alright? Yes.
If you are in a relationship, you are experiencing what millions of other men and women have felt in the past. Even though you may feel alone, you are not. Seek out fellow couples and bond with them. Your relationship may not be just like theirs however you probably will experience many of the same highs and lows they have endured.

Do not seek validation.
Your relationship is your business, period. Don't ask others what they think. If you choose to inform them, fine. But rattling down what you like and don't like about her and waiting for an opinion from someone (especially single friends) is a no no. In the end, it is your life and your decision and this is one subject that shouldn't be open to external evaluation.

If she loves you, she will make time for you.
I literally crack up when I hear single women say "Oh, I want to have a relationship but I am just so busy and he needs to understand that and adjust". Negro, please. Nobody is going to adjust to you and your schedule. I do not care how many kids you have running around by "other daddies". I have learned not even to jump in that pool. If a woman says she is "busy" and will not divulge what she has planned, then keep walking. If her nail appointment is more important than your ass then don't waste your time.

Am I bitter? No. As you grow into your thirties you just become keen at calling out bullshit. Conversely, you become more confident in identifying what you what, what you need and being brave enough to protect it.

DB

Jennifer Aniston, our love affair is over.

2010-08-11T15:11:00.001-05:00

I had a crush on Jennifer Aniston for years, until today. Not only does Jennifer look great but she has that innocent smile and go lucky demeanor. She has that spring in her step and even temper that most men desire. I was sure that happiness was toying with her and when Brad left her. I figured he simply wanted a "sharper edge" in his relationship and not the wholesome, loving, angelic Jennifer Aniston.

Her trail of movies such as "The Break-Up" costarring her and Vince Vaughn solidified the fact that she is misunderstood, abused and simply needs a big ole bear hug. She deserves a great guy who truly loves her to sweep her off her feet and grant her the children she so desperately seeks.

As of today, it hit me, it is all a sham. Jennifer Aniston has issues and enjoys making movies that imply us men are the problem. This allows her to hide behind her own strong insecurities and weak commitment.

Here is the synopsis for her latest movie "The Switch" via IMDB:

An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.

Oh whoa is me. Jennifer Aniston has to turn to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant and even when stooping to that level she has been duped by an unscrupulous man.

Seriously Jenn, are we at this stage? Can you please let it go, suck it up and go get you a 29 year old and start having kids? Ms. Argentina I have no more tears for you. It has been fun feeling bad for you and secretly acknowledging that yes sometimes us men can indeed be dogs. But at this point you need to put down the tissue and open those toned legs of yours. Make it happen Jennifer. The ball is in your court. There is no reason for any more "girlfriend getaways" in Cabo San Lucas. You need to focus.

1) Find a man
2) Love him
3) Follow through
4) Live your life

Trust me, no straight man will leave you without a very good reason. You, my dear, need to look in the mirror.

So, it has been fun Jennifer. Thanks for the short clips of you in boyshorts and bra in your movies but I must let you go.

Most sincerely,

Dallas

Recommit....

2010-08-09T12:09:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we set out on an objective and we get deep into it and forget our original purpose or vision. This is OK. I now understand why people renew their vows after several years. It does not mean the marriage is less valid or has expired, you simply need to revisit the vision and affirm your commitment.

Once again, this is OK.

Today I am recommitting to my objectives and reviewing why I set them in the first place.

Have you done so? Do you remember your objectives from 2 months ago? 6 months ago? A year ago?

If not, revisit them and if they have changed then update them. But before you do, remember why you defined them in the first place...

The more you know.....

DB

The Greater Good

2010-07-14T12:01:00.006-05:00

The older I have gotten the more able I have become to recognize nearly immediately if a woman is capable of establishing and maintaining a relationship. By relationship I don't mean just dating, I mean having children, maintaining the household, embracing her role as a woman and not dabbling in the B.S. of the nightclub or her girlfriend's issues.

When I look at my work colleagues in the corporate world I start to realize their wives are not supermodels, nor divas, nor do they feel entitled to the world. They love their husband, take care of the children, simply ask that you not fuck every hot waitress on your business trip and eagerly pick you up from the airport with food waiting at the house. Why? Because they understand there is a greater good. There is no doubt they can go get a corporate job, a house, a car and a life equivalent if not greater than yours. But they realize a "independent, self sufficient, I can do it just as good as you can" attitude leaves them at home alone crying in their Pomegranate Martini's.

When I see my corporate buddy after work and his wife pulls up in the brick red Cayenne GTS with the 2 kids in the back waiting for him to finish his sentence I can only smile. I smile because I now understand that it is all a compromise. I am not saying go grab the first broad that is down to cook and pop out a kid. I am saying when it comes to building a life with someone you must temper your expectations. You must be prepared to both step up and step down. Step up to the plate by doing your job, being focused, realistic, walking in God. Step down from pretending you can have your cake and eat it too. You must indeed give it up for the greater good.

The Miami Manifesto

2010-04-23T17:32:00.006-05:00

Now that I have been in Miami for about a month. It is time I define my goals. It is easy to be lazy in this land of sunshine and gorgeous women so I figured today, April 23rd, my 32nd birthday I need to layout my plans.

1) The Physical

I want to be the best Dallas I can be. That means get a personal trainer, workout 3-4 times per week, clean up the diet and slow down on the booze (tremendously). I acknowledge and embrace the fact the only six pack I will ever have will be in my refrigerator however I want to be the best I can be. I already have the personal trainer already and am in week 2. Check.

2) The Creative

I want to wrap up my erotic short story book and publish it. I hired an editor and he is helping me format my stories and I am at 75 pages which was shorter than I expected. I am going to target 100 pages, have it edited and then make it an eBook available for download. Would you guys buy a 100 page erotic short story eBook for $.99? Give me some feedback guys..plus you know the stories are gonna be juicy since I am the author...hehe.

3) The Career

In the past this item would have been first but at this stage in my life I need to take advantage of this time. I deem it my Renaissance period. Nonetheless, I will continue to do my job of course especially since it pays my bills but I will be less proactive. I will fulfill my duties and close my laptop at 6:00PM. I have given the company enough of my life so far and I deserve some time to develop myself. I will learn Spanish to make myself more valuable however the continuous going above and beyond has worn me out. I am enrolled in my Spanish classes. Check.

4) The Love

I need a woman. That is what I tell myself however in reality I need to make space for a woman. I have had women in my life but was never willing to create a permanent space for them in my life. I want to work to change that. When you get to a point in your life where you cling to your faith and realize that everything will be alright with your career, finances, health etc. you can relax, be yourself and open your heart.

That my friends, is my Miami Manifesto.

Random Mexico City Musings

2010-04-15T10:55:00.003-05:00

1) While on the plane I was "upgraded" to a bulkhead which I hate and without my laptop bag I had no pen to complete all my customs paperwork. As I hyperventilated I noticed the guy next to me had a pen so I politely asked to borrow it after he was done using it. He handed it to me 20 minutes later and it was nearly out of ink. He saw me doing my best to complete my custom forms with his subpar pen but I was thankful to have a pen nonetheless. Trust me, you do not want to be caught running to customs without completing your forms (+50 minutes in line).

When the meal is served there is a Sudoku puzzle on the tray and my neighbor pulls out another nice pen from his suit jacket and begins writing on the Sudoku puzzle. Are you kidding me? You let me borrow the throwaway pen, watch me sweat, barely able to complete the custom form while you have a better pen in your jacket? Not cool.

2) I took a vendor from Reynosa, Mexico out to a nice restaurant in Polanco and as I finish up my Chivas Regal he exclaims "Yea, I am glad I didn't tell my wife you were black otherwise should would not have let me come to dinner...I told her you were a short Japanese guy!". It was the high altitude and liquor that forced me to laugh but I had to roll my eyes upon throwing down the AMEX.

3) A common marketing theme and belief among the people here in Mexico City is "Live your life today". It was a good reminder that I should not fret too much about the rest of this year and just focus on enjoying now.

I am running to the airport. See you in Miami!

Headed to Mexico City...

2010-04-12T07:47:00.001-05:00

Most people hate and fear Mexico City but as long as you stay close to the hotel and have a Corporate AMEX you can have a great time. I will be there for the majority of the week. Once I get settled I will blog ya something, something.

Until then!

Random Miami Musing

2010-03-28T16:54:00.004-05:00

I was having drinks with a friend of a friend and after my third round of Crown and Ginger Ale I slipped and mentioned I have partaken in a "Prescription Drug Cocktail" in the past (Vicodin and Vodka). She gave me a sneer and replied "What?". I felt so dirty, so lonely and dirty.

3 sentences later she replies. "I mean, I have done a couple lines of coke in the past and am going to try "E" this weekend but never would I do prescription drugs."

I looked at her just like this:

Back in the groove...

2010-03-18T18:54:00.005-05:00

Above is a picture of the view from my desk in my newly rented high rise condo here in Miami, FL. Not bad eh? If I want to productive I close the window and turn up my Pat Metheny but its nice to know the view is there...

So I am now officially setup here in Miami, FL and ready to get into the groove. The groove? Yes, the "groove". That means not only getting into my routine with work but jumping back into my creative zone. I had originally feared I would be less productive after moving to "Party Town USA, Population +1" but my creativeness has already been stoked.

Wednesday I attended a "Poetry Night" here in Miami, FL held at The Bohemia Room on NE 2nd Ave not far from my condo. After first rolling by it looked quite dead inside and I expected to grab a quick drink, flash a smile or two and then make a run for the tourist trap called South Beach. However after opening the door I was pleasantly surprised. I estimate over 50 people sat listening and laughing with the poet on stage. Now the initial act was a bit silly but the crowd was lively, engaging and drinks flowed. I stood stoic in my blazer and jeans leaning against the wall facing a packed house but you couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I felt like I was in Brooklyn Heights and stumbled on an open mic night after too much Crown Royal...I was indeed in great spirits.

Black Ice from Def Poetry Jam and other notable works took the stage and after being heckled by some orny women (add the "H" where you may) the night capped with spoken word and knowledge being dropped at 90MPH. The evening was hosted by a rambunctious and vivid Ms. Ingrid B from the B Side and her personal invite made me feel even warmer inside.

After returning home I was eager to get my thoughts on paper and plan my journey to the main stage. My creativity has been stoked, once again.

DB

Learn, Commit, Do

2010-03-10T08:37:00.007-06:00

When you hit "Thirtyhood" aka "you are in your thirties" it is important that you progress in an upward spiral otherwise (you guessed it) you will move in a downward free fall.

By your early thirties you now have the information you need (whether you acknowledge it or not) to keep yourself healthy, relatively wealthy and mentally acute. The question is: Do you do what you know you need to do?

Below is a quote from Stephen R. Covey from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”

“Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit, and do on increasingly higher planes. We deceive ourselves if we think that any one of these is sufficient. To keep progressing, we must learn, commit, and do—learn, commit, and do—and learn, commit, and do again.”

When Stephen says "moving along the upward spiral" it reminds us that we must gain momentum in our thirties. We must act and reach "increasingly higher planes" for this will dictate an active and successful "Thirtyhood".

Stephen suggests the way to do this is to "Learn, Commit and Do". Sounds simple right? Perhaps too simple.

Learn: Make the time, take the effort and understand the importance of evolving especially in this new economy and challenging times.

Commit: In your twenties you could start a project, pour some time into and then walk away from it feeling no less a person and maybe learning a lesson or two. Not anymore. In your thirties you must grab hold of your goal and your friends must respect your decision. You know you cannot commit to 12 things. You commit to those few things you know you can do and you claim it.

Do: They say some things are "Do or Die" and in your thirties this applies directly to your commitment in life. Whether your goal is centered around health, career, family, relationships etc. it is truly "Do or Die". Either you exit Thirtyhood as the man or woman you set out to be, or you do not.

So remember, by now you have all the tools and the life experiences you need to grab hold of something, commit and see it through to fruition. Life no longer "gets in the way" and prevents you from accomplishing your goals. Life is simply the track and you are running the race. Start jumping the hurdles with reckless abandon.

Master Dallas Black

Miami Bound

2010-03-09T08:27:00.003-06:00

Yes, I have been out of the loop in regards to my blog. The reason? I have been finishing up the details on my move to Miami.

1) The house in Dallas is sold
2) The condo on Biscayne Blvd. in Downtown Miami is rented
3) My house is packed and ready for the move this week

Am I excited? Yes.
Am I ready? Definitely.
Am I scurred? I am a bit afraid of the long drive.
Will I still be Dallas Black? Course, you crazy?

It has been a long journey of positioning myself for the move but everything is aligned thanks to my Lord and Savior.

Will check in soon.

Bloom Energy: Our energy Holy Grail?

2010-02-22T14:46:00.004-06:00

I was watching "60 Minutes" last night and nearly fell off my chair after hearing a story about Bloom Energy; a company who are creating cubes that produce electricity virtually from thin air.

Essentially they are 2 power cubes that can power a U.S. home. Basically they inhale air, do a magic dance with fuel and produce electricity. They have no emissions and can run on a small amount of fossil fuel As of right now Google, eBay and other companies have been testing them and they are even being used to power one of their datacenters. eBay says their five boxes have saved them over $100,000 in electricity costs over the past nine months.

Then I remembered Google announcing "Google Energy" where they are applying for the right to buy and sell energy. Personally, I smell world domination by Google. I wouldn't be upset as long as my electricity costs go down.

Check out this blurb about Bloom Energy on 60 Minutes:

Bluehost.com Sucks

2010-02-21T20:32:00.004-06:00

I rave about products I like and similarly I will denounce one I do not like.

I have my professional blog on Wordpress and I hosted it at Bluehost.com.

Within the first 2 weeks they were down several times and my email was unreachable. Each time it was a problem they knew about and were fixing. The last straw was when my email went down and they told me my server was under attack.

I migrated to Hostgator.com over the weekend and am happy so far. So there. Bluehost.com sucks.

Thanks!

Juggling Life

2010-02-17T17:24:00.003-06:00

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them-work, family, health, friends, and spirit-and you are keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls-family, health, friends, and spirit-are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

-Brian G. Dyson, a former CEO of Coca-Cola:
Article: Ghandi's Neurons: The Practice of Empathy

Addiction

2010-02-15T10:04:00.003-06:00

All of us have our addictions whether we recognize them or not. It could be an addiction to work, sex, drugs, bad relationships, smoking or God forbid something worse. I realized yesterday that addiction is truly a state of mind.

Yesterday I sat at Starbucks writing near the window. Next door was a Smoke Shop or a store that primarily sells cigarettes and other tobacco products. As I attempted to write, a number of cars pulled in and a mindless drone got out and hurried into the Smoke Shop. Literally within 2 minutes they retreated with a bag full of cigarettes or cigars or whatever their fancy. Cars were pulling in within minutes of each other. A couple would pull up and the girlfriend would jump out in 30 degree weather and rush in for her fix. All of them looked haggard with terrible skin. All of them looked like smokers and all of them seemed to have a median income of less than $35,000.

The Smoke Shop was a single door plastered with posters and was a revolving door of addicts. While sitting in Starbucks I thought what a perfect business to franchise. Low overhead, product that does not expire quickly and a clientele addicted to your product. Find a college student, pay him $9 an hour and stick him in your own Smoke Shop and sit back and count your cash.

Today I thought about the look on their faces as they exited their vehicles. A look of mindlessness. They were not in a state of thought. They were simply executing an action based on a physical craving. The physical body was in control. It seemed to be the perfect image of addiction.

As I enter the season of Lent and prepare to give up alcohol and other vices this served as a good reminder of the importance of recognizing the instinctive cravings and actions of my physical body. To realize that those cravings and needs are a result of my previous actions. Furthermore it is a reminder that my body is a temple provided unto me by God and it is up to me to fill it with things that will maintain my focus on Him.

Thanks Smoke Shop.

Personal Branding: What is your brand?

2010-02-08T14:25:00.007-06:00

I recently realized that with the current job market, employers are in the position to pick any candidate they want for an opportunity. Do you think they will sort through the 65,000 resumes to pick the ideal candidate? No, of course not. They will seek out those who are experts in the domain. They will peruse online media and identify who are major contributors.

In essence, you will not land your next opportunity. Your next opportunity will land you.

For this reason I have considered my personal brand and from a professional standpoint I am a project manager by heart. Therefore I have purchased my domain (firstnamelastname.com) and setup a blog dedicated to IT Project Management and Stakeholder Management. I plan on making blog posts giving practical advice based on my experience and hopefully my site will become popular in my domain. In the future when there is a need for an expert in the field I hope my name will appear in their research and I will be contacted.

So, what is your personal brand? Have you secured rights to your domain? If not, jump on it.

Need some help finding your brand? Check out Dan Schawbel's Personal Branding Blog and notably an interview giving details on how to define your personal brand.

You would be just silly not take note. Heck, if you are in your thirties (aka Thirtyhood) then this is certainly for you.

Dear Emeritus Professor of English Paul Brians...

2010-02-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

In my twenties if someone corrected my grammar they would have received a raised eyebrow, a lip curl and curt "thank you". Being in my early thirties I will extend a genuine "thank you" with a half scowl to Emeritus Professor of English Paul Brians.

Professor Brians took time out of his busy schedule of grading papers, making TA's feel like small children and downing cups of black coffee to inform me that my use of "alot" in my profile description was grammatically incorrect.

The link he sent me stated the following regarding the spelling of "alot":

Perhaps this common spelling error began because there does exist in English a word spelled “allot” which is a verb meaning to apportion or grant. The correct form, with “a” and “lot” separated by a space is perhaps not often encountered in print because formal writers usually use other expressions such as “a great deal,” “often,” etc. You shouldn’t write “alittle” either. It’s “a little.”

Touché Emeritus Professor of English Paul Brians. Touché. I do advertise myself not only as a lover of Steely Dan but also as an "excellent speller" therefore my profile should be correct.

I can feel the sting of the yellow plastic ruler slapping my soft young palm after misspelling a word during my days in private Catholic school. I can see Sister Ursula in the back of the class staring intently at me during our class Spelling Bee while I stuttered the spelling of "Ignoramus".

Emeritus Professor of English Paul Brians you have allowed me to relive that sting if only for a moment. Your email concluded with "not meant to condemn" leading me to further believe you were sent by Sister Ursula herself. For that sir, I say wholeheartedly and unabashedly "thank you".

Scene.

Grab the domain....

2010-01-30T18:11:00.004-06:00

Domain names are essentially real estate. Cheap, accessible and potentially highly valuable real estate. In fact, I have bought and sold domain names to major corporations which has helped to fund other personal projects and enable a Vegas run here and there.

Some people like to spend $10 on lottery tickets after they get off work on Fridays. Others may drop $10 on 2 Venti extra hot green tea soy milk lattes from Starbucks. As for me, I like to think of an idea and run over to Go Daddy and pick up the domain.

Am I going to do something with the domain? Maybe, maybe not. Either way you own it and can choose to relinquish it in a year or hold on to it until you have enough time to flesh out the idea and the associated site.

Ok, so you bought a domain, what now? Well, you can do anything or nothing at all. The choice is up to you. However there is also a chance that some guy in Singapore really wants to buy biggiesbigandtallshop.com which you own and is willing to offer you US$1,000. Not a bad return on $10.

Isn't that called cyber-squatting? If you knowingly buy a domain for an upcoming event, forthcoming business or movie then yes you can be regarded as a cybersquatter. There can be repercussions but only if you are infringing on trademarks etc. I am no lawyer so if you go buy appleproductskindasuck.com and get sued then don't blame me. Think of a unique idea that is generic and not specific to an existing product and go buy the domain.

What domains should I buy? Buy something short, with no numbers or hypens ending in ".com". Yes, you can go buy a ".net" or choose from a ton of other domains but when was the last time you visited a site ending in ".net"? Thank you. Case closed.

Where should I buy domains? I use Go Daddy as my domain registrar because they are cheap and easy. Go Daddy even has an iPhone application so if you are at a bar and a hot Israeli chick whispers "In my country, we absolutely love red scarves" you can step back, pull out your iPhone and pick up "israeliredscarves.com" and then get back to asking for her phone number. Domains average less than $10 and I always search for promo codes to get a quick discount bringing it down to ~$8 on average. Bingo! Check out Fat Wallet and search for "Go Daddy" to get the latest promo code.

Do I need to put up a website with my new domain? Not necessarily. However do put your contact information and it can be an anonymous email address. Just make sure you get the emails. If that Singapore investor wants to offer you US$1000 you want to make sure he can get in contact with you.

I have an idea but the domain is taken! Don't fret my friend. Head on over to my favorite tool called Domain Tools and use the Domain Suggestions feature. You simply enter the keywords associated with your idea and it returns domains that are available. Booya! Take your time and find a catchy domain that is available and make sure it is a ".com". Then head on over to Go Daddy and pick it up.

If you have anymore questions feel free to email me at dallasblack@thirtyhood.com.

Now, go brainstorm and pick up some domains. By the looks of you, you can go without a few lattes and pick up some domain names instead.

Vagueness can be an opportunity...

2010-01-18T22:54:00.005-06:00

Sometimes we can get in situations where we do not have much definition or direction in our careers. To some this can cause panic and to others it can be viewed as an opportunity.

In my case I have been promoted into a position that is vague, highly visible and although I carry a long intimidating title my responsibility is not clear. I have been keeping myself relatively busy however busy work is not fulfilling in the long run.

So where is the opportunity? I now recognize I have the opportunity to build something on my own. We have always been taught to work as a team and behave as a team player.

Well, sometimes in life there is no team. You need to pick up the ball and start running. Just pray you are not headed for your own end zone.

Are you brave enough to build something on your own? Do you need a team to validate your idea? Can you be a leader and lead yourself?

FAIL

2010-01-11T11:28:00.004-06:00

One question: Why is the dude in the second row snacking on pizza during the premier of the movie "Avatar"? Why? I laughed out loud when I saw his huge jowls snacking on a slice of Pepperoni pizza.

Too far...for a Joe's Crab Shack commercial...

2010-01-07T22:21:00.003-06:00

I was lounging on the couch watching TV last night thinking about what I need to do the next day when a commercial for Joe's Crab Shack aired. I was not paying attention but after the commercial I had to rewind it to make sure I wasn't crazy. Here is what I saw and heard:

I mean, kids cursing in a Joe's Crab Shack commercial; really? In a way it is funny and in another way it is just a bit too much. I have a feeling that was the point.

The holiday is over.

2010-01-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

I dread the first day at work after the holidays are over. It is painful especially if you are 30 something and single. For us, we spent the holidays either traveling or boozing it up and most likely both. Your married coworkers spent the holiday with their kids and are now eager for you to hear about it.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

1) I do not care about how well your son little Bobby did on the ski slope

2) No, I do not want to see pictures of your daughter little Annie with her first Barbie doll on your Facebook page

3) I could care less about how good your smoked Turkey tasted

4) Yes, you do look like you gained 40 pounds

5) Wish me Happy New Year again and I will knock the coffee out of your hand

6) Your email auto-reply states you will be back in the office today. Turn it off numb nuts.

All I want you to do is login to your work email and provide me the 50 things I asked you for in December that you did not provide because you were on vacation.

So on behalf of all single 30 somethings I say to all you fat, married coworkers that the the holiday is over.

Get back to work.

The New Age...

2010-01-03T20:20:00.005-06:00

I have adjusted my outlook on this upcoming decade. I feel there are a few tenets that will ring true in the next 7-10 years and in order to assure success it is essential to identify them and react accordingly.

1) Content is King
Think about it. Any kid can start a blog and be deemed an "expert" on any subject and draw in a number of readers. In this new age of online media you do not require "connections" to get your voice heard. If you can generate consistent, quality content then you can make a name for yourself in any genre. What content are you creating and how do you plan to monetize it?

2) Less is More
In essence, "Mo Money, Mo Problems". One lesson I have learned after being single and owning a 4 bedroom home, cars etc. is that the more crap you get the more time you must dedicate to maintain it. Furthermore, the less time you have to dedicate to being creative. I am in process of reducing my "energy footprint" so I can spend more time on writing short stories and less time cutting grass, replacing rain gutters and staining new fences. How are you reducing your energy spent towards maintaining goods and mundane tasks?

3) There is no such thing as retirement
The more I see 50 year olds on television crying because of their lost retirement funds, stock portfolios and nest eggs the more I realize retirement is a myth. Many of these people have a reason to be upset either at themselves or the corporate world. The age of working until retirement and being granted a pension is gone. This was a 1950's concept that no longer applies in this age of volatile markets, fraud and clandestine financial policies. In this day and age, do not expect anything from anyone. Especially not cash from the government or a company upon retirement. So, what is your plan? As for me, I am considering a realistic moderate plan that involves a modest condo in Costa Rica, a liquid savings account, passport and a gorgeous Latina. Define a plan, be realistic and create quantifiable steps to make it happen.

4) The Social Networking "Snapback"
My Facebook account was recently hacked and some kid in Moscow decided to post absurd sexual comments to all my friends and family. I was able to quickly change my password and deactivate my account to avoid too much confusion. Being off of Facebook for a few days has made realize how much time you can sink into such a silly activity. Furthermore it made me realize how a hacker could affect and possibly ruin relationships; all via a website! I predict a Social Networking "Snapback" where in the next 3-4 years people will be urged to "logoff" and actually spend time with family and friends. How much time are you spending on social networking sites via your "passion"?

Make changes today.

One Big Happy Family: Exploitation?

2009-12-29T09:53:00.002-06:00

I stumbled on this new show that will be airing on TLC which is basically a real live version of "The Klumps".

Essentially they follow an overweight African-American family who loves food and doesn't care what anybody else thinks. It does show some of the kids explaining their addiction to food. My hope is that the show is therapeutic and helps the family with their health versus just profiling a fat family.

Below is a clip of the show airing on TLC in December 2009:

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-27T00:47:00.002-06:00

Yes, I am a bit late but then again there is nothing quite conventional about me or "Thirtyhood". I wanted to wish everybody a great holiday and I hope everyone gets some rest this season.

The season has been a challenging one for me due to family being snowed in and the usual drunken emotional outbursts during this time of year. But nothing I cannot handle.

I am so excited for 2010 and I look forward to a new year filled with new experiences, people and places.

I hope you are as excited about 2010 as I am!

Take time to find out what you like...

2009-12-15T21:55:00.003-06:00

This post is more a testament to me being a sexually repressed Catholic but I think it is important to admit...and embrace. I have recently found it comforting to determine exactly what my ideal woman physically looks like.

Huh?

Stick with me here. Some of us guys prefer brunettes over blondes and get more turned on by certain outfits or lack thereof. I find it important to identify exactly what you like in regards to body shape, ethnicity, hair color, hair length, feet, outfits, lips etc. Now, I am not saying you should hold out for someone who meets all your qualifications but it is fun and even important to identify what is your ideal. By ideal I mean the woman who you want to walk out of the bathroom and hop into bed with you on the regular and not the one you text message to "roll through".

So when you close your eyes and you are feeling a bit "randy" as I call it; what exactly do you see? What does she look like? How does she sound? Is she loosely based on someone from a previous relationship? Is she a real person? A celebrity? Is there a part of her body that is "over emphasized"?

I guess you could call it your "fantasy girl" but remember she should be somewhat domesticated (cringing at the word choice but eh...). Mine happens to have features similar to someone from a previous relationship with additional "merits" that I also enjoy. She is not a celebrity and does not have "huge" anything but is simply perfect. Perfect in the way I deem perfect. To me this is not the objectification of women but simply admitting what I like.

I am not asking you to describe yours and I suppose the same is true for women of men (not that I want to hear about it). But it begs the question, do you have an image of your ideal woman?

April Ryan needs to chill....

2009-12-08T07:00:00.000-06:00

Many in the media gave Robert Gibbs a ribbing over his "talking down" to April Ryan. April Ryan was bringing tabloid rumors into the Office of the White House and she received exactly what she deserved. Comments such as "Don't play with me" indicate a frustrated, poorly trained reporter who is seemingly too junior to be speaking directly to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.

The video is below and the jabber from April Ryan starts around 1 minute in.

In my opinion, Robert was being as respectful as possible despite the unnecessary and disrespectful jabbing from April Ryan. April represents American Urban Radio Networks (AURN). An association that needs to strongly reconsider who is representing them during White House press events.

Holding your breath....

2009-12-07T08:00:00.000-06:00

I am not good with holding my breath. When I say holding my breath I mean in regards to waiting for a decision. I have always been plagued by anxiety issues and the past couple months have been challenging.

I am waiting to hear from my company if I will be allowed to relocate to Miami, FL. I have even proposed I pay for the move so I can go ahead and make it happen in January 2010. Even after multiple discussions, proposing I pay for it, creating a business case etc. I receive responses from my boss that include statements such as "we shall see". That alone makes me want to pull a Ari Gold.

I am all about "making it happen" and sometimes I want to shake people by the shoulders and yell in their face "Hey mofo, let's go, make it fucking happen!".

I know, I know. Be patient, pray about it and it will happen. This truly is a test of faith. A test I am not necessarily passing with flying colors.

DJ Hero

2009-11-24T07:29:00.003-06:00

I just had to hip you on to DJ Hero if you don't know. Now I am sure you have heard about it but this video game is the bomb. It allows you to be a DJ and mix songs. Now, it sounds corny but when you mix such old school artists as Rakim and Public Enemy then you can easily fall in love. Plus, you get a turntable to scratch and crossfader to mix the music!

I ran down to Best Buy to pick it up. I glance over and see a kid playing it so I walk over to get my jam on.

I sucked. I sucked so bad even the kid was giving me the gas face.

I promptly returned DJ Hero for XBOX Live 360 to the shelf and eased on out of Best Buy. I felt like an idiot but eh, I tried. In hindsight, I should have bought it an practiced but its a video game, I expect to be an ace out of the box.

Check out a clip below from the game:

Now tell me you wouldn't jam to this in the house ALL day?

Cutting the Cable on...Cable

2009-11-23T08:00:00.005-06:00

I recently realized I spend most of my leisure time at the house in front of my 17 inch Macbook perusing the web, looking at Hulu.com and occasionally some clips of some Dominicanas on the beach (don't judge me! Insert neck roll here)

It made me wonder why I am spending $70 and up a month on Dish Network just to have the pleasure of "channel flipping". I figure if I can watch my shows online and just buy the seasons of the shows I want to see then I can save money. More importantly than saving money my hope is that I would do more reading and less channel surfing.

For some reason I have this fear I am going to go nuts not having a TV to flip on whenever I want. Staring at a dormant TV in the living room scares me but I need to get over it.

I am considering a combination of iTunes, Hulu.com and Apple TV. Plus, I hate commercials and this would be a great way to reduce my exposure.

Have you cut the cable on...Cable? Can you do it? If so, then why haven't you?

Mike Epps Comedy DVD: Under Rated... Never Faded & X-rated

2009-11-20T08:00:00.002-06:00

Now, I love Mike Epps but he is quite hit and miss. He can be hilarious in a movie but terrible at a comedy show. When I saw his latest special pop up on Showtime I had my doubts but recorded it anyway.

I am happy I did.

Mike was funny from the start and you don't need a fifth of Crown Royal to enjoy it (even though it does elevate the fun).

The show is in Detroit and the crowd is engaged and Mike Epps flows from joke to joke. So catch it on Showtime or pick up the DVD from Amazon.

Every Thanksgiving when I travel to visit the family in Kansas I bring a comedy DVD for us to snicker at while we lay on the couch intoxicated by Turkey and Whiskey. This will be in the repertoire for 2009.

Helping a brotha out....

2009-11-19T08:00:00.003-06:00

So, I am headed home from work and need a haircut but not happy with my diva barber. When your barber calls you and goes "Yea man, my schedule for the Thanksgiving holiday is blah blah blah and I need to know what day you coming in" then he is officially a diva. Plus, his haircuts are nothing to tweet about.

Anywho.

On my drive home I remembered a small barbershop that just opened in a strip mall near my house so I roll past and I see one chair and the name of the barbershop is "Cool Vibes". It must be owned by a dreadlock toting dude but I am in a "give a brotha a chance" mood.

I park and hit the door to be greeted by an unshaven Rastafarian who tells me to "hol up, be out in a minute". Normally I would have hit the car and been on my merry way but instead I stuck around like the mark I can be sometimes.

He briefs me that he starts at "$20" but has a special going on. Now folks, this place has one chair, one sink, the chairs are put together literally by nails and cloth and we are the only ones standing in the place. I reply "$20 for haircut and the beard" just to be nice. He replies "Yeaaaaa, that's the ticket". I roll my eyes and sit down.

This fool takes 13 minutes getting his tools ready and then finally starts to cut. He barely touches me. Literally its like the clippers are hovering above my head cutting one strand at a time. I think to myself "Will this dude just go ahead and cut my hair". After 14 minutes of doodling he starts an air compressor to clean off his tools. At this point I am rolling my eyes, regretting even being in the chair and praying somebody calls me so I can have an excuse to jet.

He continues to play on my head and I am reminding myself I can just shave my head when I get home and chock it up to "helping a homie out". After literally 18 more minutes of him cutting one strand at a time I blurt "Aight man, I got an appointment I need to get to". He shakes his head and announces he is almost done tapering me.

He steps back after 42 minutes (mind you he has not started on my beard) and I stand up to give him his funky $20 and be out. I pretend to write his number down as he announces "I am not too reliable, it takes me a long time to get out of bed". I smile as I silently think he is an idiot and give him some fake props and his money.

The funny part. I get home and look in the mirror and realize this is the best haircut I have ever had. My fade was freaking perfectly even and I look like that fine ass yellow Puerto Rican boy you girls use to fawn over in elementary school.

Now I realize I was an ass and cannot go back like everything was cool. I feel like I shot myself in the foot. But to my credit, I was just trying to help a brotha out.

PS: The dude in this photo is a DEAD ringer for the barber...Irie mon!

Music Props: Ledisi

2009-11-18T08:00:00.000-06:00

Long weird story short, at a summer house party a Lesbian family member of a close friend was shocked when I had not heard of the artist "Ledisi". Judging by her manly attire and neat dreads I assumed "Ledisi" was a R&B superstar of the Black Lesbian community and hastily created a "Ledisi" Pandora.com station while she peered over my shoulder.

I have been rocking Ledisi nightly on my Pandora.com station ever since.

Her album "Turn Me Loose" is powerful, soulful with some catchy hooks. My favorite joint? Definitely "I Need Love" however her highest rated song on iTunes is "Goin Thru Changes" and I can understand why. It too is a head bobber. She sounds akin to Tina Turner on the song "Them Changes.

It is a bit too upbeat for lights out so I say it is a good "transition" CD. Transition you ask? Yes, when you are "transitioning" to the bedroom, or couch, or laundry room or whatever suites your fancy.

So, don't scold me for being late to the game but do let me know your favorite track.

Pardon the puddle......

2009-11-16T23:36:00.004-06:00

Well yes, Thirtyhood.com is changing. A little bit of change is always good and I am changing up the format a bit so please pardon the puddle. If you get the Slick Rick reference to this blog post title then two extra points for you.

So stay calm and be prepared for some new blog posts and features. You darlings deserve it.

Do you have ideas for the site? Great! Keep them to yourself. I kidd, post a comment and let me know what you want to see.

Your boy, Dallas Black

Wordpress anyone?

2009-11-10T22:10:00.005-06:00

I am considering moving my blog to Wordpress only because it has some cool features and better templates. But Blogger is easy to use and since Google will soon own the world and my brain this may be easier.

Anybody using and a diehard fan of Wordpress?

Listen More

2009-11-09T22:07:00.003-06:00

Something I read that I am trying to abide by:

"You have two ears and one mouth. You should listen and speak proportionally"

I am trying to listen and not conjure my response before the person is finished with their thought. You learn so much more and can follow-up with a more insightful response.

Are you listening more than you are making yourself heard?

I want this guys Cajones....

2009-10-24T23:40:00.005-05:00

David Duchovny from the Showtime series "Californication" is the epitome of that dude that it would be great to be for a week. Every word that flows out of his character on the show is aimed at getting a woman in bed, or on the couch, or in the back seat of his Porsche. But, he is not corny. He is arrogant yet openly embraces his flaws. He does not take no for an answer yet does not come off as pushy. His lines are funny yet keep women guessing. In reality, he simply says what is on everybody's mind no matter how juvenile it is. The result? Nearly every women on the show wants to fuck him again for the first time.

I don't think I could ever be that frank and quick witted but it is a refreshing approach.

Catch an episode when you can. You may not fall in love right away but like his character there is something that intrigues you and then eventually snags you.

Catch a quick clip of Episode 3 where you get my drift. (Bite your tongue and get through the quick commercial)

Patience...

2009-10-20T18:42:00.004-05:00

Patience is a virtue I never learned. I want it now. I make a great case for why it should happen now yet I have to remind myself it is not up to me. Timing is indeed everything.

After returning from Miami, FL I am depressed. I miss driving down 836 down into Brickell and seeing that water sparkle. I miss Plantain from Pollo Tropical. I miss the single ladies in the ride next to me giving me a double look. I miss the Jamaican ladies with the gold teeth at the toll booth asking "Where you from?". I miss forcing myself to jog after looking at all the gorgeous people. I miss being out of breath out on the Ocean Drive after a great run.

I put in a relocation request and my house is up for sale. I am definitely doing it, the question is timing. Fate was on my side when my boss announced to me privately he is moving to the UK for 2 years as early as January. I jumped up and down and asked for a relocation to Miami. He essentially said he would make the request but after a follow-up conversation weeks later he used words such as "let's focus on immediate needs and first quarter 2010".

So, either I be patient and put my head down and focus on my immediate target. Or I throw up my hands, give a couple people the middle finger, give up the lifestyle and prepare to apply for a job at the South Miami Best Buy.

I have a feeling you will tell me to stick with the former.

Learn...don't forget.

2009-09-22T08:00:00.002-05:00

The hardest part about growing up is learning lessons and actually remembering them. Many times it takes the Bible for us to remember what we already learned and what we already know.

I was reminded this week not to second guess myself. The decisions I make are based on HIS influence. The opinions of others are simply that, opinions.

The Pastoral Reflections book I was reading from my Catholic pastor talks about how there is the truth and inherently people will try to discredit that truth. However, this does not make the truth any less....true. For the powerful force and energy of truth will often attract a force to discredit it.

So faith is being steadfast in the truth that you know is indeed true. Any wavering is a reflection of your faith.

You nod your head like you know this. But just remember this as you move forward.

DB

I'm Pissed...

2009-09-21T00:44:00.004-05:00

It may be the Vodka...or the OJ...or the pain pills a friend gave me but I am PO'd to the highest of pisstivity.

I was just told via a well known social networking site that I am a "bad influence". Now, I am sure it was in a joking tone but it fucking pisses me off. ESPECIALLY when I have financially helped out homeboy's family and alot more that I won't add.

So for the record, I got ya fucking bad influence. Stop drinking that purple hatorade and peeping me on 57' boats in Miami aight?

Fuck you.

Cause and Effect

2009-09-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

So, my uncle calls me in a huff and formally informs me that my aunt's husband is having an unexpected quadruple bypass. I am in the car and my first instance is to smirk. I mean, the guy was quite obese, a smartass and I doubt he had a gym card.

I did not sound very concerned over the phone and it was quite obvious. I really wanted to feel bad but, I didn't. I kinda felt like you reap what you sow. Now of course it was not welcome news and he will be in my prayers. But my "Oh no" reflex did not kick in.

I casually asked for an update after getting home and was told he is out of surgery and in recovery. Part of me knew he would be just fine. He will now suddenly change his eating habits, slim down like Bill Clinton, profess the need to eat right via his new Facebook account and take more vacations to Italy with his equally obese wife.

I know it sounds harsh and I love them both but maybe I was just a realist today. I figure with my drinking I may have a shot liver at 42 but its about cause and effect. It is my decision.

So, in retrospect I pray for the health of my family member and I suppose it is a simple reminder that "you get out, exactly what you put in".

Remember that as you go about your day.....

T-Pain iPhone App: Kinda Cool

2009-09-04T14:04:00.002-05:00

At first I thought a "T-Pain" iPhone application was bound to be pure foolishness but after seeing the video below I think it may keep my attention for about 3 minutes. Without a doubt he is going to make some serious cash off of this application. Overall I think the idea was executed well.

But I have to ask, if anybody can now sound like a robot over instrumentals then why go buy an album from T-Pain or Akon?

Off the Market...

2009-08-27T23:29:00.004-05:00

I have decided that I am off the market. I am like a slightly overpriced McMansion in the Hamptons....I am off the market. Period. No explanation, no regrets. I am simply off the market.

I am down to chill and hangout and yada yada but the official answer is...off the market. Not available. Sorry.

I am not mad, bitter, upset or "over it". I am simply off the market. Now I can be shown just like any hot property with a lockbox and offers can be submitted. However they will not be considered. This most likely will change in the near future but for now...I am sorry but "we are not accepting contracts per the owner".

Inspired...

2009-08-23T14:34:00.004-05:00

I was really inspired today.

If you know me I often have 5-10 ideas or projects going on aside from my day job. Some I throw cash at and see how they develop, some I email around and swear this will be the next hottest gig since sliced bread and others die on the vine.

One activity I have always enjoyed is writing. However being in Information Technology (IT) most of my writing is technical in nature etc. Only recently have I gotten some of my own stories out of my head and onto paper. I promised myself that I would write 10 stories and then ask for feedback from fellow friends and authors. I am on story nine and looking forward to getting some feedback soon.

What I realized about writing is that it is a profession that allows you to work anywhere, write about anything and be quite respected. I always associated writers with college students with no cash with a pipe dream. But being a published author is respected by anyone (even if the book is trash). Plus, people will buy your books for years to come! That means royalty money rolling continuously assuming you market it correctly.

My motivation for being published is not money but to meet people interested in my stories, in my genre and possibly interested in having me write for them. It may be a pipe dream but we need those too right?

RawDawgBuffalo introduced me to infinitypublishing.com which basically takes your story and publishes it from end to end. This means they format your book, produce it and sell it for ya! Now, I am still reading the details however it is exciting!

I am committing to focusing on only one or two activities instead of nine or ten. One is writing and the second is taking Business Spanish classes.

So, wish me luck and what tell me about your dreams and aspirations. I associate dreams with doing something that provides you the lifestyle you want. Whether that is money, working where and when you want etc.

Jive Talking....

2009-08-21T14:22:00.001-05:00

Hey, it's Jive Talking Friday....anybody remember which movie this one is from? Have a great weekend you Jive Turkeys!

Red Box....

2009-08-18T22:26:00.000-05:00

Red Box is a vending machine where you can rent a DVD for $1 a day. Basically you enter your credit card for verification, pick from a list of DVD's (including new releases), pay $1 for the day and then run back home to watch it with your wife or mistress.

It is genius actually. It is a vending machine so no opening or closing hours, no manpower needed to run it and your overhead is freaking electricity. I have rolled past a Red Box at like 4AM coming from the club and seen like 3 people flipping through DVD's. So, I decided to franchise Red Box and make some cash. Well, Coinstar owns them and they do not franchise. Huey Pooey.

Therefore, I will start my own DVD vending machine called "Bootleg Box". I am going to buy some old snack vending machines and fill them with bootleg copies of new releases. I am going to buy some Halloween candy from last year and put it in the vending machine too. That way you can rent G.I. Joe 2 and get a Snickers bar from 2006 all in one place!

Wish me luck!

DB

Dalamine and me....

2009-08-16T13:51:00.000-05:00

Hey ya'll,

As you know I had Lasik but after a routine check-up they said I messed up my left eye flap. I rolled my eyes when they said I was responsible however that meant another follow-surgery.

It hurt a bit but I took my sleeping pills and went home. Then I had the nerve to go out and drink nearly a half bottle of wine. Let's just say I slept for 36 hours. Hell, I almost pulled a freakin Michael Jackson.

The sad part is that this stupid surgery was elective and I am not going to say I have regrets but I did have a bump in the road so to speak. Hey, I can still see and hopefully I will heal and be just fine. So, I am staying off the juice for a minute and I saved one of them sleeping pills "just in case" I need some down time in the future...hehe.

I think I am just a perfectionist, in fact I know I am. All will be well...right?

DB

Potential love will make you do anything....

2009-08-15T11:04:00.003-05:00

I think I am going to start a segment indicating what potential love will make you do. Notice I did not say what potential "booty" will make you do because in Thirtyhood any self-respecting, God fearing man gets past that eventually.

1) I had a follow-up eye surgery yesterday after an issue with my Lasik surgery. A "potential" accepts my now forgotten offer of a glass of wine for tonight and although my eye looks fine I have some hazy spots due to swelling. I accepted the offer I originally extended. I guess now I have a reason for her to feel sorry for me, and rub my back and...ok stop.

So now I will return to UV ray goggles and my sleeping pills hoping I wake up in time for my meet-up. $60 says I would sound like I am high when I arrive.

Good times.

Anxiety...

2009-08-13T18:20:00.002-05:00

I have always had issues with anxiety. I am fidgety, upset and ponder every possible path that could happen. I am silent, I do not care about anything else and although I listen I do not process anything else. Selfish? Yes, another terrible byproduct of anxiety.

I make mountains out of anthills and fall off the earth for big things. I have grown regarding the latter however anxiety has robbed me of precious hours of my life.

I drink due to anxiety. I cannot help it. It is a catalyst. It is not pain I numb but time that I hope will escape faster.

When I lived in Orange County, CA I had a therapist. Partly for anxiety but it was diagnosed as depression. He gave me these cool little green pills and I took them. Everything seemed grey, perfectly grey. Nothing was wrong, but nothing was excitingly right. Yet, I felt better. But, when I noticed that my mornings no longer brought tents in pajamas I traced it to the pills. Seriously, it affected my libido. So, I dropped the pills. Petey Pablo was back in effect and finding his waying into normal trouble.

Listening to your gut...

2009-08-10T09:00:00.003-05:00

Hey folks,

I know I have discussed this before. However I noticed listening to your gut actually means trusting your instincts which really means acting based on the lessons you have learned.

So why wouldn't we trust our gut? Is it our ego that tries to push us into a different direction, a direction that can leave us standing in front of a moving bus?

I am going to spend this week "trusting my guy". The ironic thing is I have had the bubble guts all morning. I guess this won't be as easy as proposed.

DB

I got Lasik....

2009-07-28T23:12:00.006-05:00

So, I have been wearing contacts for like 10 years and if you caught me in glasses either it was late at night or I rolled over to ask what you were making us for breakfast...

I have wanted to undergo Lasik surgery for sometime partly because I hear work colleagues say it was a modern day miracle and partially because I was tired of packing contact lens and glasses when traveling. Plus, if a 30 minute surgery can basically restore your vision to 20/20 and you can afford it why wouldn't you do it?

Yes there is risk to every surgery and they are operating on your EYES. No malpractice settlement can make up for losing your eyesight. However after some research and a few prayers I decided to take the plunge.

Now, Lasik is essentially eye surgery in which the surface of the cornea is reshaped using a laser, performed to correct certain refractive disorders such as myopia. So basically, a laser zaps my eye and reshapes it and I can see. This is elective surgery, not cheap and my insurance covers none of it. How expensive? Well, let's just say I could have paid cash for a 2001 Ford Escort with 40,000 miles on it...ok?

I decided on Dr. Tylock and overall am happy with my choice. But the day of the surgery was a shock. Below are some observations:

I arrive for surgery thinking I would be ushered into a room with the doctor and walked through the procedure and then gently walked to surgery for the operation. NOPE. I arrived to find a group of like 20 people awaiting the same surgery. I asked "Eh, what are all these people here for?" The receptionist responded "The same thing you are" and then she advised I take a seat. Basically we were sent in groups to have the surgery done. GROUPS! WTF? I just dropped enough cash to refinance my house and I gotta sit in a group with Ugly Betty and her 4 sisters? So, I get over it and they give 5 of us Valium and tell us to relax. There was a "flamboyant" mexican on my left who kept making nervous jokes. I gave him a "chill out" look and that was enough to settle him down. We were all layed out on leather recliners and he curls up like a newborn Panda....I fucking swear.

So 5 of us are high on Valium and laid out. It wasn't doing much for me but I tried to chill out. Suddenly I hear music blasting from the operation room. I hear like a 97.7 Jams station just blasting Top 10 hits. So, a couple of us look up like WTF? Just then Dr. Tylock comes out and goes "Ummm, you guys have any questions?". I sobered up and asked about my case since they were doing a different eye flap. He looks at my file and goes "Oh yea, no prob, for you we are going to cut you closer to your nose to avoid dry eye..no problem". I nod and lay back down. "Ok relax folks and I will see you shortly" and his high paid ass walks back into the surgery room. So I am trying to relax but trying to guess what song will come on when I hit the chair to get my eyes lasered. So far I have heard some Funky Cold Medina and some Backstreet Boys. I won't lie, my butt was moving in the chair to the beat.

So finally I get ushered into the surgery room and my eyes are numbed and they line us up like we are in a factory. I hear the fat white girl mumble "Yea, I see the green light" then BZZZZZZ and they navigate her to a recovery chair. Then I am ushered into the laser chair. Just as I get into the chair the song "I say a little prayer" by Aretha Franklin blasts through the dark room and I knew Jesus Christo himself was there with me. I followed the directions, stared at the blinking green light and BZZZZZZZ went the laser. The crazy thing was I could smell the burning of my eye but I kept staring at that green light like my life depended on it...and in a way it did.

So I am sitting here with essentially 20/20 vision typing this and it as been about 4 days since the surgery. My eyes are a bit dry and I have haze around lights which is suppose to go away over time but other than that I can see nearly perfectly. Hell I went to a wine bar, got lit and drove home the day after surgery so that tells you I could see pretty damn well the day after surgery.

Want to see what Lasik is all about? Check out this video by my same doctor and let me know if you have any questions:

Dr. Tylock Lasik Video
Click on Part 2 to see the actual surgery, unless you are squeamish about the eyes.

Enjoy kiddos!

She can get it too: Nicole Scherzinger

2009-07-21T23:06:00.005-05:00

We already knew that Nicole can always "get it too" however when I was at the gym on the elliptical the "Jai Ho" video came on featuring Nicole. I nearly fell off the bike when they flashed her full body. I am down for a little "Jai Ho" anytime with a body like that. She must eat only veggie burgers and water because she keeps it tight!

So cheers to Nicole who can definitely get it too....Jai Ho!

Baseball: No gym needed

2009-07-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

You know I was definitely bored since I watched a few minutes of baseball on TV. If you want a sedative, watch baseball. I also noticed that you don't have to be in any kind of decent shape to play baseball. You can have a gut and eat chicken wings all day and still be a revered baseball player.

It is one thing to be "stocky" but many of these dudes are just fat. It seems the weight gives them leverage to hit home runs. Heck, you only have to sprint 50 feet every couple of hours to a base so I understand why they are out of shape.

I use to play baseball when I was in elementary school and I was the catcher. We warmed up but never worked out too strenuously.

The picture above is of Prince Fielder. I am not hating but it just gives me inspiration if this IT job doesn't work out I can grab a couple pints of beer and tryout for the Oakland A's.

Ladies, do you need a man? Go back to High School

2009-07-13T21:56:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend I find out my 16 y/o niece is pregnant and her father (my brother) does not know. I promptly tell my cousin to inform my brother who is understandably upset and disappointed. I too am disappointed not only for her being pregnant but the fact that neither her or her mother informed by brother. She is already 5 months pregnant.

I find it ironic that my 16 y/o niece is a mother to be yet I know 30 and 40 somethings that "can't find a man". I guess all you got to do is cruise the high schools.

I know its crass but its the way I feel.

Ciara: Not so much...

2009-07-08T22:31:00.002-05:00

My jury has been out on Ciara for awhile. I mean, I always figured we both had something in common and liked pun-tang. Honestly at this point I am convinced she is a masculine butch. I don't know too many homies that are like "Eh man, I would smash Ciara." At least she is not number one on the list. Stacey Dash is number two on mine...hehe.

I imagine a date with Ciara would entail a morning of light weights at the gym, followed by cardio on the beach, yoga, a hearty lunch and then a nap. She would probably call me out on how much I could bench them tell me my ex is "kinda fine".

Just sayin.

Ghetto Party

2009-07-07T22:16:00.002-05:00

I received an evite to a ghetto ass party in a apartment complex. 3 people were hosting it, they didn't put their last names on the evite but I figured out one of them is my barber.

The kicker? At the end of the evite it reads:

"All men must bring a bottle"

I say NO to "funding ho's". Get your own shit.

A little piece of tail....

2009-07-07T07:30:00.001-05:00

Dad told me this joke before I went to Brazil which in hindsight was appropriate:

"A dog crosses a railroad track and a train comes along and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog turns around to go get his tail only to be hit and killed by another oncoming train. What is the moral of this story? Don't kill ya'self over a little piece of tail".

Kudos to Dad.

Brazil Observations

2009-07-06T07:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, I have been out of pocket. I took a business trip back to Sao Paulo, BR for about 9 days. As most of you know I lived there for about 7 months in 2007 and use to travel there often.

Brazil hasn't missed a beat. My friends at the Hilton Morumbi were nice as always and my bartender "Rodman" welcomed me as usual. A few staff members got promotions and now wear suits and I congratulated them with hearty pats on the back and some solid handshakes. It was nice to see the economic disaster did not devastate Brazil. A Brazilian friend reminded me that much of Brazil's goods are created and consumed within the country and they do not have huge dependencies on other nations. Therefore they can weather the storm a bit better.

Time for observations:

1) From the 26th floor Hilton Morumbi Executive Lounge I noticed a teenager with a young toddler and in seconds I could tell the teenager was the nanny. She was darker complected and not dressed as impeccable as other guests. Like clockwork the mother and father walk in and the father walks straight for the child. They tickle the child while the nanny looks on with a straight and tired face. Never once did the parents even look the nanny in the face. The father picks up the kid with gusto and mother and nanny bounce along in tow.

2) I noticed the same phenomonen at the Shopping Ciudade Jardims mall. This is one of the premier high end malls in Sao Paulo, BR and while I was having coffee at the bookstore I noticed the same situation. A young African girl was at the table with a child and the family. The kid jumps up and yells and nobody blinks an eye except for the nanny. He wants his balloon and when the nanny floats it over to him he snatches it with an evil eye on the nanny. That irked me.

3) I know why I love Sao Paulo, BR. If you are an American you can earn the respect and love of anybody. Brazilians love foreigners in general and it is truly a service oriented country. The currency exchange rate is in our favor and you can literally eat at different restaurant 365 days a year. Most importantly you are always greeted by over zealous workers looking to make sure you have a great time whereever you are. They want you back Mr. American.

4) The city is dangerous, full of smog and a maze of motorbikes but it gives you that edgy feeling that makes it all real. I was talking to a Brazilian friend about how I think the people in Sao Paulo are overly alert or protective against violence. Everything is safety and security. When it gets dark you don't have to stop at red lights, just flash your lights and go. Why? You can get carjacked while at a red light. My friend said you have to keep your guard up because it is so random. I had to agree that it can happen at anytime to anybody for any reason. I recall asking a colleague why he was late to a meeting. He said 2 motorcycles pulled up to the car in front of his taxi and opened fire killing the person in the rear in what he assumed was a hit. I figured that was a good excuse.

5) The women. It is no secret I have been more partial to Latinas than any other species. But this last trip confirmed why I like them so. I do respect the gender roles in relationships. I was watching the soccer game in Sao Paulo at a friend's house and the men watched the game while the ladies prepared food popping in ever so often for the score. The ladies were laughing and having a great time in the kitchen and so were the fellas in the living room. The wives stood behind the men offering affection but not interfering with them watching the game and took joy in making sure their man's beer glass never fell below a quarter full. I would expect American's to view this as servitude but I did not. I saw the affection the men returned via hugs and holding hands while the wives knew to be quiet and listen intently when their man was speaking. Most importantly, everybody was happy and joyous. Did I mention these women are gorgeous? It reminded me of a quote I recently heard:

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones" -Helena Rubinstein

6) There is not much respect for time. Much like Miami and other locations with heavy Latin populations people do not live or die by the clock. When work is done the day is still going on. In fact, most people say "Boa Tarde" which means "Good Afternoon" up to 6PM. Most restaurants that offer dinner do not open until 7:30PM and are not packed until 9:30PM. Life goes and goes. I feel like I live a full 24 hours in Brazil. In the states, after 5:00PM it is time to "retire" and start planning for the next day. In Brazil you raise children and sleep at home, that's about it. Entertainment is outside.

7) People go out not to drink, or eat or party but to talk to each other. Do you know why you don't have many Brazilian or Latin American friends on twitter.com or Facebook? Because they perform social networking in person. Dinners last 3 hours not because they are scarfing down beef but rather they are talking. Hours of talking without a worry about the time. It can be exhausting to a foreigner like me who just keeps eating and drinking and eating and drinking the whole time. This last trip I realized its not about the food, its about being with others.

8) People are with people all the time. Everytime I eat alone in Sao Paulo I feel weird since I am normally the only person in the restaurant eating alone. In fact, I have received some looks like "poor guy" when I am eating alone. People are always with people whether it be at work or at home etc. As a loner this is a cool concept which I think would force me to mingle a bit more.

9) Ummm, did I mention the women? Gorgeous. They may make $20K a year but their makeup is flawless, high heels, business suits and smiles. They make sure they look good if anything else.

10) In Brazil there is no taboo about sex. Sex is like a good meal. Period.

11) You are forced to be humble. Even if you do very well in the city you will have a very small apartment, a very small car and if you know what's good for you will not walk around with flashy clothes and jewelry. This makes you focus on making good friends as that is how they measure wealth. Beautiful.

So yes, I am still in love with Brazil and return to instant pouting once I return home to Dallas. My Portuguese lessons start this week. Who knows where this crazy world will take me...who knows.

DB

Damn...the GMAT is hard.

2009-06-17T07:00:00.000-05:00

So I have this grand idea to go back to school and get a Master's degree partially because I am bored and partially because I believe in continuous learning.

I went to the bookstore to read some GMAT overview books and GAZAAM. What the hell is up with the math part? I mean, it's graduate school not a PhD in Physics. The funny part is that I am a Computer Science major so I should be all excited about the math part.

The one good thing I like about the GMAT is that it will require me to stop, focus and be patient. These are some qualities I have been lacking lately.

Being remote can be quite...remote

2009-06-15T23:18:00.003-05:00

I finally figured out that by working from home I can go the whole day without interacting with one person. I can work from my living room, hit the kitchen for a snack, get back on my laptop, hit Wal-mart, go back home, finish up work on the laptop, eat and go to sleep. To some people I know that is a dream but to me it is becoming quite boring.

Now, of course I love the flexibility and not having "the man" breathing down my neck but I need to make an effort to "connect" and engage. My work consists of emails, meetings, documents and an occasional phone call if I am really flustered.

Just getting out of the house and hitting the bookstore makes me feel like a human again. I think this is one factor behind my boredom. Hell I considered a night job just to meet people...sad I know. I planned on contributing my paychecks to monthly beer bashes for fellow workers. Man, would be popular or what?

Back to reality. But what I do know is that Life 2.0 is definitely in it's planning stages.

Brazil Part Deux

2009-06-10T21:33:00.003-05:00

Well, I was able to wrestle up some stupid reason to go back to Brazil on business and actually get approval. Even I am a bit proud of that stunt. Now of course I need to run around and get a new Brazil entry visa, reschedule Jury Duty blah blah blah but ya boy is making it happen.

I have lived in Sao Paulo, BR on business for nearly 8 months in 2008 and it was a blast. I had an awesome corporate apartment, car, great daily per diem and knew every whore house in the city. Those days were great. I worked hard and played harder.

My boss mentioned some "expansion" opportunities in Sao Paulo, BR. But, although I had a blast down there I don't know if I could move back. From a growth perspective, yea I am sure I would pick up a wifey and a tough apartment but from an education perspective I can kiss grad school goodbye. Plus if the job goes South I will need to board a flight North. Then again, why the hell not? Something to think about I suppose.

During my upcoming trip at the end of June I plan on figuring out if I can live down there again. While I was writing this a Finnish buddy who approved me going to Brazil called me. He is down in Sao Paulo, BR and asked me "So I just ate at your favorite sushi place, now where do I go?". I asked exactly what kind of fun he wanted to get into. He goes "you know man, where this is scenery". I mention 2 clubs and then he goes "give me the good spot". I mention "Bomboa" and I hear his Brazilian friends laugh in the background since Bomboa is a "sauna with benefits". He comes back "Not that type of fun man but some scenery". I advocate they go to "Kiaora" and then they go on their way.

I got excited just talking about the different spots. So, let's see. Oh, and if I arrive at Terminal D and there is a Airbus parked outside ya boy is hitting the house.

DB

Transition to a "Green Balla"

2009-06-03T07:00:00.001-05:00

Ok it is official. This "biggest balla" is now instituting the frugality clause. This means I will no longer be doing "biggest balla" activities just for the sake of it. Its hard times people. Time to cut back. Time to be a good role model for "little ballas" in this new economy. I will now make the transition to being a "Green Balla". Not green because of that money I keep trying to stack but green as in being a more efficient balla.

1) Washing my own car: Back in the day it was ballin to slide up to the car wash, throw the keys to Juan and Paco, grab a $6 Vanilla air freshener, a Orange soda and get a shoe shine while flirtin with Lolita behind the counter. But now times have changed and now I am in the driveway in a wifebeater with a towel, a bucket while bumpin Too Short. Bitch!

2) Less Yak and more Kool-aid: Yes, gone are the days are swinging through the "liq" and picking up a quick pint to add to the collection at the house. Now it is about that Wal-mart brand no sugar grape Kool-aid in a chilled glass. It is better for both my health and my wallet.

3) Reservations at Che Dallas Black: Normally running down to a local restaurant for a steak or some good ole prime rib was nothing but jumping in the car and hitting the tollway. But now as a "Green Balla" it is about some grilled wings out on the backyard patio at the heezy. Plus there is a free refill policy at Che Dallas Black and unlimited paper towels...score!

4) Sanmiches at work: No more runs to the Thai restaurant at lunch for some $11 Pad Thai. Maybe one day a week but now its about roast beef sanmiches up in the break room while reading a 2 day old newspaper. Hey, who said being a "Green Balla" was glorious.

5) Trading in starched shirts for Pima cotton polo shirts: Now every balla has to stay "so fresh and so clean" so picking up slacks, jackets and shirts from the cleaners on a weekly basis was just apart of "balla protocol". But now we are transitioning to some wrinkle free chucks and polo shirts. Yep, this "Green Balla" will be up in the office looking like Ice Cube.

So hey, I am doing my part by going green so make sure you do the same.

Uncle's Movie Commentary

2009-06-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

I get really annoyed with people make comments or ask questions during movies. I pride myself to be able to sit in a movie theater or dimly lit living room in complete silence and ingest the movie. I like to look for subtle undertones and hear everything so the volume is often quite loud.

When I am at a movie with Uncle I want to rip my toenails out. First off, every joke in any movie gets a hearty chuckle from him and after 12 minutes in a comedy I am staring at him in the dark hoping he will stop giggling. In action movies, not every explosion, punch or shooting deserves a "oh shit".."watch out"..."dang". No. I want complete silence. In fact, please breath slowly through your mouth.

Don't ask me if that was the same bad guy who kidnapped her in the beginning. If you cannot discern this then you are welcome to watch the DVD again in the privacy of your own bedroom or download the script and answer your own question. However while I am watching the movie for the first time please keep your hands at your side, phone off and remain silent.

With all of that said, the movie "Taken" featuring Liam Neeson gets a Dallas Black approval. A Dallas Black approval is not the highest possible rating however it does give you permission as a consumer to rent and watch the movie. Carry on.

Keeping it in Texas...

2009-06-01T07:00:00.001-05:00

I was in a bit of a funk the latter half of this weekend and going to my cousin's high school graduation didn't help. As I am sitting there on this hard ass bench seat in a miniature gym they finally get to calling the graduates names. Well I soon find out that they not only call out the graduates names but also the university they will be attending.

Now, you know this was a high "falutin" private Catholic school for them to call out the university they will attend after they call their name. So, these bright eyed young kids took to the stage and my heart instantly sank when all I heard was:

[name]....University of Texas
[name]....University of North Texas
[name]....University of Texas at Dallas
[name]....Oklahoma State University
[name]....Texas Christian University

The list went on and on and every school was either in Texas or in a state connected to it. I was wearing a smirk the whole time. When the little Asian girl walked up there and they announced "Ming Li...UCLA" I almost nearly jumped up and spoke some Tagalog...pa ting moo ma yo! I was happy at least one graduate would learn more than how to BBQ and drive a Ford F150.

Being the conspiracy theorist I am I figured there were some cash kick backs going to career counselors if the kid went to an in-state college. I mean, what happened to NYU? Colombia? Stanford? Harvard? These kids are the best in the state at a private Catholic high school where laptops and iPods are standard. Are you telling me these kids were fighting to get into University of Texas? Is the economy so bad that the parents all decided to keep the kids local so that can pay lower tuition?

Now, if you are a fan of Texas schools and your daddy went there and got a good degree well congrats to you. But I would have really loved to have seen some students actually leave the tri-state area and get a new experience. Now who is to say they won't board a flight and visit somewhere but I was just dissappointed.

As I swept the crowd I quickly realized we were literally the only African-American family in the gymnasium. When they called my cousin's name you would have thought Sugar Shane Mosely had just knocked out some white boy.

I have been heavy on the Texas bashing as of late and I suppose I should apologize to somebody.

[shrug]

Smoke Breaks: The Fleecing of America

2009-05-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

Imagine if you could leave your desk at work and go take a 15-20 minute break at any time. You could do it as many times as you wanted during the day and could even invite a buddy to chat outside with you. You would get paid the same even if you were an hourly employee and your boss would think no less of you.

This is basically what smokers get. The liberty to get up and go satisfy a sickening addiction as often as they like. Then they get to come back into the office smelling like a chimney and sit next to you so you can smell the remnants of their addiction. Then they inhale Binaca thinking it will erase the last 14 minutes of them inhaling cancerous smoke.

Now, if I don't smoke and I get up and run to the break room and stand there for 10 minutes about 3 times a day then I would be labeled a slacker. But if I take a quick left, hit the exit, light up a ciggy and stand in the parking lot then I am just "one of those people who smoke".

New rule: If you smoke and get up to go hangout outside with your buddy while killing yourself and those around you then you get to spend that extra time at the end of the work day with your head on your desk.

I honestly don't care if you smoke but that does not give you a free pass to play around outside all damn day playing with cigarettes and then walk back to your desk like you were in a freaking meeting.

Heads down!

Thanks Miami!

2009-05-26T23:50:00.003-05:00

This past 5 days in Miami were great. Of course my host Prez ensured I had a great time and highlights included people watching on South Beach and enjoying a 4-course meal courtesy of Miami Spice at Soyka's. Revelations included my love and lust for Latin women which Prez states was always there. Prez made it clear that only now have I decided to embrace it. I suppose so.

I was reminded that I am still a teenager in this life. Waking up at 1:00PM and lazy runs to Pollo Tropical validated that fact. During my much deserved romp one of our factories went down at work and emails were flying, fingers were being pointed and as the project manager it was time for me to puff up my chest and step in. Then I realized the fact that I left my phone charger in Dallas was an indication that I needed to let things resolve themselves. Now, I did end up at our Miami office on Tuesday and was mad at myself for being there. However I had a selfish reason since I had lunch with someone who could possibly hire me in Miami...or so I thought. I got the same line from him I received 12 months ago "Well Dallas, let's see what next year brings and maybe we can get you transferred out here". I gulped my overly sweet Expresso shot and hit the exit. My next move will need to come from within me and not from anyone else.

What keeps bringing me back to Miami? Aside from my Esquire brother Prez and his harem of Latinas I simply feel more relaxed and young while I am out there. There is no rush to do anything. Yes, certain parts are pretentious but most of the time it is down to earth passionate people enjoying life. I bitch and moan about Dallas in every conversation and it's about time I buck up and make a move.

A close family friend recently reminded me that homes are merely "pass through entities" and cars can be sold. I should not let such materials hold me back from doing what makes me happy.

I have enjoyed Dallas and will always consider myself as Dallas Black however it is time I take another leap of faith and jump. It took me months to grow the cajones to move from Orange County, CA to Dallas, TX and I have not looked back since.

My friends in Dallas are either married and/or moving themselves and I need to start planning phase 2. Graduate school is definitely an option.

I simply need to get out of this comfort zone and swallow the fear that I will lose my "standard of living". Yes, I will need to downsize and I will be leaving a job with unrivaled opportunities. But obviously there is much more to me than a great home, stable job and a stainless steel BBQ grill. I expected to have two ninos by now, a Suburban and teacher/parent conferences down at the Catholic school however that was my plan and not His.

So, I foster no regrets. I pray for the strength to look forward and not be fearful of what "coulda been". I realized today that I have so much more to learn and to experience. Whether it be in academia or in relationships I am simply a small green bud that has been well manicured yet still a wee pod.

So with all that said, let the planning begin. May it be to Miami, FL or Montreal, Quebec for a one year Master's program at McGill University or a stint at University of Miami. Let the planning begin....

Marrying Effeminate Men: Why?

2009-05-22T15:00:00.005-05:00

I was recently introduced to a married couple in their early forties and the first thing that struck me was how effeminate the husband was. Now, at first I thought he was simply her "fun friend" who tagged along but he was quickly introduced as her husband.

How effeminate? Between the broken wrists, light shrill laugh and the patting of another male friend on his knee he was sweeter than sweet tea at Chick-fil-A. Now, I try not to guess a person's sexuality because in reality that is their business. However as I looked at his wife I had to ask myself "So, are you in love or simply tired of being alone?". I hope they are in love however the whole situation irked me.

Why would a woman marry such an effeminate man? The stigma has to be unbearable especially in the African-American community. Then again, love can exceed all these things....I suppose.

I am watching Dr 90210 as we speak on TV. Why? Well, they are showing boobies. The doctor on the show is so effeminate yet he is married (with the most annoying wife) and has two kids. Once again, I will not guess sexuality but I will ask how is that attractive to a woman? Now, I am not saying you have to be a lumberjack however masculinity should be the yang to her ying.

So, I would love to hear from the ladies on the subject. Not just what you prefer but what would attract a woman to a man with such traits.

Bienvenido a Miami!

2009-05-22T12:47:00.002-05:00

Hey folks! Currently in my buddy Prez's apartment severely hungover after an evening of rouble housing. My flight touched down after midnight and we hit the block immediately. Nothing but conversation with random New Yorkers and drinks. Was feeling no pain.

I will check in. Promise.

Wheels up?

2009-05-14T09:23:00.003-05:00

It will be six months in June since I have returned from living in Helsinki, Finland and I was getting the itch again. The itch to get out of DFW and do some new things. Conversely I have been enjoying being at the house and working on some personal creative projects.

So after 3 weeks of "hemming and hawing" about "how I need to get out of DFW" I book a flight to Miami for Memorial Day weekend. So that will be fun.

Then last night my boss calls and states I have been requested to run a major internal project that is very visible and has a very large budget. This past month I had maneuvered myself on projects that were challenging however allowed me hit the gym in the evening and provide ample time for writing and photography. This new project will blow that schedule out of the water as I would probably be back on the road to Eastern Europe and working many more hours.

I was flattered when I was told out of the 3 available resources I was requested specifically. Plus having work in this age of uncertainty is indeed a blessing. So, I agreed to step outside my comfort zone (again) and lead the project. I am being considered and it is not finalized so we shall see.

So, it may be wheels up for ole Dallas Black in the next month. Probably meetings in Helsinki, Finland. If I do get a chance to go I am going to take a weekend trip to Singapore and get my dumplings on!

Oh where have I been?

2009-05-13T00:15:00.002-05:00

Have I not been online? Nope. I have been online too much. But playing with Twitter, Facebook and other Social Networking crap. I am now aware of the time I was wasting on that stuff and now you have my full attention. I promise

Shuttup the news is on....

2009-05-03T13:28:00.004-05:00

Now I know where I get it from. When I am in my house and the news comes on I realize I do not want to hear anything else. It is me and Brian Williams on NBC and everything else is a distraction. I get visibly annoyed when my uncle barges in and spats "Hey bo! Did you hear about that tornado in Oklahoma yesterday?". I do not even glance in his direction as I am affixed on my news messenger Brian Williams. Last time with uncle decided to start a conversation during the financial market recap I lunged for the remote, paused it and said "I am sorry uncle, what did you say?". I let him have his 45 seconds of glory them promptly returned to my news.

I wondered why I act like this and I now understand why. As kids if you were at your grandmother's house you knew the following:

You knew what time the news started and WHATEVER else you were watching was irrelevant
Your responsibility as the child was to change the station to the news even before the opening introduction
If you tried to keep watching your A-team rerun even though the news had started you will soon get a "Hey! What time is it? The news is on!". You then were promptly swatted as you ran for the remote.
You could not change channels during the commercials. If you did then you had eyes of steel bearing down on your neck.
You were allowed to change the channel only when the "Jeopardy" theme song came on. Nobody in the house wanted to watch that mess. "Ill take bullshit game shows for $500 Alex!"

So that is where I get it from. When the news is on just shuttup and sit down. I want my 30 minutes of quiet so I can focus. At the end of the NBC Nightly News when Brian Williams says "well, we hope to see your tomorrow" I can't help but grin and say "same to you Brian".

Another dimension...

2009-04-30T16:04:00.004-05:00

I mentioned before that I was considering some other outlets for fun and one was photography. Well, a friend of mine who does well as a black and white photographer has hipped me onto artistic and implied nude photography. He does it nearly full time and I have heard of worse jobs.

Overall I think it will be a fun way to express my self creatively since I spend most of my day doing boring technology stuff.

How do you become a nude photographer? Check out this link to learn a bit more.

I already have the domain and site template and have been experimenting with my 35mm camera. I will keep you guys posted.

Now I am sure you are asking why not go digital? With digital photos it is very difficult to maintain ownership and control over your photos. However with a unique 35mm negative you have more control and in my opinion can enjoy the true art form of photography.

My only regret is not doing this when I was traveling in Europe and Brazil since there are many "worthy" canvasses. However I will manage with local buxom beauties for the time being.

DB

By the time you read this, I will be...

2009-04-23T08:00:00.002-05:00

31. The day before my birthday is always a solemn, reflective and lately an extremely emotional time. However I remind myself of what I learned years ago when I feel down....."this to shall pass". It works every, single, time.

But April 23rd is indeed the day I was born or at least so I was told. I don't know the exact time and vaguely remember the hospital. The rumor is my father saw the spelling of my middle name on the birth certificate and ran to correct it. Turns out my mother named me after a Catholic saint and spelled it correctly. However my father changed it thinking it was misspelled. Now my middle name simply means "jealousy" in Spanish.....how fucking charming.

I have far outgrown birthday parties, sausage pizzas and video games at Chucky Cheese and now simply hope dinner reservations are honored and that they have a dessert that is palatable. I vowed never to organize a birthday party for myself once I passed the age of 30...that is simply pathetic. I pretend dinner reservations are an exception.

Cheers to me and whatever my 31st year holds!

Most sincerely,

Me.

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency: Kinda funny

2009-04-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

For one reason or another I started off already hating on HBO's new series called "The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency" starring Jill Scott. I don't know why. I just figured it would be another depressing movie that would have me up in arms on a Sunday night.

But, after having nothing on the DVR to watch I settled in and watched it. Before I realized I was giggling and enjoying it.

So kudos for HBO for putting something on the air after "The Sopranos" I kind of look forward to seeing.

Check it out for yourself!

8:00PM CST on HBO on Sundays.

The stigma of marriage

2009-04-19T14:07:00.006-05:00

I was chatting about relationships and marriage with my buddy Prez and he helped me with my perspective.

Question: Why is it a woman is more understanding if you say you were once married and are now divorced versus if you say you have never been married?

If you say you were once married and are now divorced you probably will get a quick "it happens" face followed by her thinking to herself "well at least he as gotten to the point in his life ". However if you reply "no, I have never been married" then bells go off and women think "well he is over 30 so what the hell is wrong with him?".

Prez said it best when he stated "Marriage is not a right of passage or a sign of maturity". However nowadays society implies it is simply a state you reach ideally in a specific amount of time. In reality, I would rather never be married then go through the experience of being married and divorced. It is not a short term commitment like a new car. It is a union in the eyes of God.

Now I know getting a divorced is not equivalent to chopping off your left hand. However if I have an inkling that I will not be with this women for the remainder of my life, in sickness and in health till death do us part then I say let's keep dating.

Period.

Headfirst: Support group for sober people looking to begin drinking again...

2009-04-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

As I near the end of Lent I have not drank alcohol in about 30 days. I have gone through the usual withdrawal symptoms (confusion, lack of focus, energy, thoughts of suicide using a paper clip etc.) and now Easter is approaching.

A friend told me "Hey Dallas, you may not like the taste of alcohol after not drinking for 40 days and 40 nights.". I agreed and decided this must be addressed.

I am proposing the start of a group called "Headfirst". Similar to the program "Headstart" it is a program to motivate and encourage people to achieve their goals.

The goal of "Headfirst" is to provide support to people seeking a smooth transition from sobriety to a lifestyle of boozing.

To combat the initial bad taste of alcohol, new members will be encouraged to drink small sips of liquor and describe the sensation while their mentors rattle off all the positive benefits of drinking. Mentors will share helpful flashcards with quick drinking factoids such as "Drinking large amounts of red wine can improve your cardiovascular system!" and "Inhaling shots of Patron can instantly improve your sex life!

Members can enjoy free booze at our weekly Headfirst meetings and condoms will be distributed along with discount hotel coupons.

Members graduate from the program after successfully blowing at least a 0.19 on the breathalyzer 5 days per week for at least 7 weeks. Breathalyzers will be maintained at the door and if no alcohol registers you will be sent home or to a local bar.

I would appreciate your support and am accepting donations for Headfirst! We will use donations to buy more booze and also contribute to the "Beat a DUI" fund.

Thanks for your support!

Clip O The Day...

2009-03-31T13:00:00.008-05:00

I needed some good ole ghetto comedy to get me giggling today and the following clip from Next Friday 2 did it.

Fast forward to 1:20 on the video below....when she goes "TODAY, is the day you mutha-fuckas is gone kick-in" at 1:40 I lost it!

The clip is too long to embed here. Click below and check it out when you get to the house:

The Next Friday 2 clip - Miss Pearly

What do I deserve in a mate?

2009-03-29T17:18:00.003-05:00

Recently I asked myself "What do I deserve in a mate". Many times I spend too much time picking out the qualities I do not like in someone and wish I can change things and refuse to settle.

However you eventually ask yourself well "what do you deserve?". Because whatever you want in your mate, he/she may very well also want in you.

Answering this question and then looking in the mirror can be a humbling experience. Very humbling.

Things I learned in Vegas...

2009-03-27T18:55:00.002-05:00

People who live in Vegas are either morbidly obese or exercise freaks.
Getting a tattoo is like buying a packet of chewing gum
Casinos never lose
You will instantly be hungry once you hit the airport and will never lose the feeling while you are there

Stepping Up Your Game: Listen Better

2009-03-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

I was reading my project management magazine this weekend (yes I was bored) and was reminded to makes sure I remain calm and listen in times of project distress. Many times during a team meeting I make a bottom line assessment, dole out tasks and end the discussion. However I realize this is not always the best approach. I had to concede that although I am the project manager I may not have the best solution. I should listen, gather ideas and then suggest a solution to the group for discussion. In order to do this you actually have to listen.

So, I intend to listen "more better". Instead of listening to the first part of a person's sentence and drafting a response while waiting with baited breath to respond. I will let the team member finish his or her entire thought. Then tell him or her how he or she is an idiot. I kidd.

I do believe that in order to have your ears open your mouth must be shut.

Furthermore there is something sexy and intellectual about a person who waits a couple seconds to respond to a question. We assume a person who does this simply does not know the answer and is in the process of making something up however I believe the contrary is true. A person who listens, digests, holds his tongue and then responds with a full thought is deemed a leader. As I strive to be a better leader I will try this exercise.

However if you come off the curb incorrect you will still get stopped...."imeegeeiately".

I invite you to try it today also. Open your ears, shut your mouth and digest what the speaker is saying. Take 2-3 seconds to consider a response all while maintaining eye contact and then gracefully respond. Heck, you may get a promotion or a little "one-on-one" time.

;)

DB

Cheney's Interview: Hypocritical

2009-03-15T19:45:00.005-05:00

I was sighing and growling while watching Dick Cheney's first interview since leaving the White House. Dick's responses were so hypocritical in my opinion. Three things bothered me most.

1) When asked about the budget surplus in 2001 becoming a $1 trillion-plus deficit by 2009 he responded:

"All of these things required us to spend money that we had not originally planned to spend, or weren't originally part of the budget," Cheney said. "Stuff happens. And the administration has to be able to respond to that, and we did."

How smug. Stuff does happen including the Republicans losing the White House thereafter.

2) When asked about Obama inheriting the financial disaster from the Bush administration he replied

"Well, I don’t follow the news quite as closely as I once did. But there’s no question that what the economic circumstances that he inherited are difficult ones. You know, we said that before we left. I don’t think you can blame the Bush administration for the creation of those circumstances. It’s a global financial problem. We had, in fact, tried to deal with the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac problem some years before with major reforms and were blocked by Democrats on the Hill, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd."

Yea, it is a global financial crisis sparked by fraud, lax oversight and unsound fiscal policies allowed to propagate by the Bush administration. What does he mean he doesn't follow the news? Is he constantly on the toilet or what?

3) Later Dick responded to a question about the new stimulus package introduced by Obama:

"And, frankly, I think the programs that he has recommended and pursuing in health care, in energy, and so forth, constitute probably the biggest or one of the biggest expansions of federal authority over the private economy in the history of the republic."

How can Dick Cheney talk about "expansions of federal authority". Wasn't it Bush's "War on Terror" policies than expanded the federal government's authority to indefinitely detain terrorism suspects without trials? Albeit it was not over the private economy the Bush administration definitely enjoyed flexing it's federal muscles.

Watching this interview reminded me of when I use to play little league baseball. I was the catcher and also played right field btw. I remember us losing a key game and watching the other team jump up and down and parents talking about which pizza parlor they plan to celebrate at. This must be how Dick feels about now. Loser.

Definition: Hongry

2009-03-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hongry: A combination of being both horny and hungry. Normally occurs after rigorous love making or after working out at the gym.

Let's use it in a sentence: "Hey boo, yea, I sho am hongry. What you cookin and what you wearin?".

Hongry.

Electronic Love

2009-03-12T08:00:00.001-05:00

I was talking to Prez the other day about how I email and SMS women more than I see them. I mean, face to face time is delegated to Fridays and Saturdays or maybe Sundays. Mostly because everybody is so freaking busy.

This electronic means of communication was cool at first but now it is putting a dent in my one on one time. My "sexy time". My "how your durin?" time. My "want a massage?" time.

The funny thing is I am the one who introduces technology to the relationship. I ask "Do you SMS?" or "are you on Facebook?". So in turn I am shooting myself in the proverbial foot.

So, I am going to return keep it old school. Maybe love notes via the mail. The risk is the relationship may be over before the love note arrives. Damn Postal Service. Maybe packages at her doorstep. Post-it notes in her car. Wait, that is legally defined as "stalking".

I may actually pick up the telephone and call or leave the mobile phone in the car when we go out. The latter will be challenging but doable. Plus it will eliminate the habit of walking to the bathroom and texting other women to see "where they at". Eh, nothing wrong with a backup plan. ;)

So, to all those out there with a mate I say go old school this week. Write it down and share it. Thank me later...

Astrology and why I cannot escape believing in it..a little bit.

2009-03-10T10:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was especially emotional. I woke up angry at emails from a dumbass coworker, slamming doors, mumbling to myself and nearly doing donuts in my car in the work parking lot. I called the coworker in Europe and came an inch short of cussin her out...it even scared me. Furthermore, my laptop woke me up in the middle of the night exclaiming "I am low on battery!" and I think that just totally screwed up my sleep pattern.

Anyway.

After getting to work and listening to gospel I found myself wiping tears. I was simply unstable and super emotional. I decided to check out my horoscope. Now, there is only one place on the web I check my horoscope. I feel it "knows" what is in store for me. I use to check it daily but fell out of that habit.

Below was the Taurus horoscope for March 9th:

"Everyone has more than one side to their personality, so if a friend or coworker is getting on your nerves today, try to focus on the parts of their personality that you enjoy. Be tolerant of the mood they are in right now and understand that it will pass eventually! They need you to be patient with them and they know they are pushing it. But the good thing is that they are also planning a way to pay you back for all that you have had to put up with from them lately."

I read it intently with my mouth open. I mean I like to read about astrology but mostly on first dates at the bookstore. However the stars have spoken and this seemed to be just the reinforcement I needed. Heck, since HE created the planets and the stars why can't they mean something? I don't feel guilty for thinking so.

DB

She Can Get It Too: Olivia from Candy Girls

2009-03-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

I caught an episode of Candy Girls last night and found the model Olivia to be the winner, by far. Aside from being gorgeous I dig that naive, my daddy is Booker T from Booker T & the MG's, I have been sheltered, pouty lips look. The girls on the show treat her badly for not being "black enough" and I just want to cuddle her and tell her "Daddy is gonna make everything alright. Now hand me my Crown and go get ready for bed".

Yea they are all money hungry boppers however this chick can definitely get it too.

BET's Harlem Heights: Not so much

2009-03-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

Normally I am a reality TV junkie however BET's Harlem Heights just killed it for me. This show has no chemistry or point and it was like staring outside a window in silence watching people walk by. I don't need to be reminded that we too can have corporate jobs, drink Champagne, have swag and drive expensive whips. For the record I hate the word "swag" since it is simply the latest reincarnation of the word "cool"and it was used every 4 minutes on the show.

So, nice try BET. I give you credit for trying however I would rather watch a "Blackbuster" on a Saturday then watch this calamity.

Love Tech Support

2009-03-04T08:00:00.001-06:00

If Bill Maher can have "New Rules" then so can I. These rules are pertaining to meeting women.

As a single guy I am now grouping women into either dates or mates.

A date is simply a friend and we can kick it, no stress, no pressure and no investment. Simply shits and giggles.

A mate is someone who I can potentially be with long term with a goal of "startin sumthin" together. I invest my time, energy and emotions in a mate.

I am committed to identifying if the new person I meet is a date or mate within 2 outings. After the second outing I will classify them and depending on their category they are entitled to one of three levels of "Love Tech Support".

Tier 1 Love Tech Support: This level is available to dates. Essentially they are entitled to free time. They hold no travel benefits and have a 2 drink maximum. Tier 1 is not 24/7 and is available only up until midnight of the day in question. After midnight all calls are routed to Ahmed in Chennai, India where you must authenticate with your measurements to gain access to my current location and status. My work time, going out time with the fellas, Me time and gym time are all unavailable at Tier 1. Only non-scheduled time aka downtime and happy hour priced cocktails are included. Tier 1 response times are defined in the Service Level Agreement (SLA) at a minimum of 2 hours. Therefore I have a grace period of 8 hours to respond to text messages or voicemails. The penalty for non-response as defined in the SLA is 1 entree during lunch time menu including a non-alcoholic beverage.

Tier 2 Love Tech Support: Mates are entitled to this level and are granted permission to interrupt or schedule over work time, going out time with the fellas and gym time. There is still a "hands off" policy on Me time. The Me time schedule is available for viewing unlike Tier 1 but cannot be rescheduled. However there is a mate family emergency clause where Me time can be interrupted however it is like flood insurance, rarely used. Mates have 24/7 access and a Service Level Agreement of 12 minutes. This means I need to respond to text messages and voicemail's within 12 minutes or report a plausible reason as defined in the SLA.

Tier 3 Love Tech Support: This is the Platinum package and is available to "wifey" material. This is 24/7 access along with full disclosure. This level is accompanied by jewelry and access to the financial portfolio for joint strategy discussions. Keys to homesteads are granted and alarm and safe codes are communicated securely. To avoid the situation as defined by Biggie Smalls called "who would eva think you would spread like mustard?" the security codes are changed quarterly. Tier 3 is entitled to a yearly allocation of AA frequent flier miles and Starwood points. Introductions to family are included along with roundtable discussions regarding gene profiles and potential offspring.

See, it is that simple. Either you are a date or mate and have access to different levels of Love Tech support. Hell, Neil Clark wrote a book called "Date or Soul Mate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Date or Less." and although I have not read it yet I am sure he suggests similar levels of Love Tech Support. ;)

Keeping yourself busy..

2009-03-03T08:00:00.001-06:00

It is funny how one week the days seem to never end and you stare at the clock wondering if it is time to go home. Then you break out of the office like Season 2 of "Jailbreak" and burn rubber out of the parking lot.

Then when things get mad busy and you are assigned 400 tasks the time seems to fly. You look up and it is 3:30PM and you swear you just walked into the office. Before you know it your alarm goes off and you are staggering towards the bathroom to repeat it all over again.

What drives me crazy is that I get creative ideas and think of cool new personal projects only when I do not have the time to make them happen. Then when I get downtime to actually work on them I am staring at the DVR all night or surfing the web.

Is it a loss of focus or just the way it goes? Who knows...

Stepping Up The Game: Remove the TV from the bedroom

2009-02-27T07:30:00.001-06:00

You know how you learn a lesson but sometimes have to keep reminding yourself of the lesson?

Well, a lesson I learned a long time ago was not to put a TV in my bedroom. At first I thought it was cool to mount a LCD in the bedroom so I can watch my previously recorded "The Daily Show with John Stewart" before going to sleep. But the result is I end up staying late to watch other shows and then get to bed 1.5 hour later. Plus I noticed I haven't read a book in like...ages.

So this past weekend I removed the TV and turned it into a 30inch Widescreen monitor in my office. Now my porn is in HD! Hooray!

However I am still suffering form "bedroom TV motor skill memory". When in my bedroom I look for the remote and walk to the TV that is no longer there. Then I snap back to reality and realize I need to either read a book or go to sleep.

So folks let's step up the game and remove TV's and distracting things. You deserve some "me" time.

Sincerely,

Pastor Dallas Black